Its Thursday night, a little after eleven. He is sound asleep and I am wide awake, as usual. Sometimes its hard not to feel so alone, I have been wondering if anyone else out there is going through this. Its like we lay in bed and between us is a gap, something huge, like a wall. I cannot put my finger on it. It has kept me up for months now. I have been to the doctor, to a specialist. I thought it was a case of insomnia until my family doctor made me evaluate my stress level. We all know stress is looming with the economy crashing, as if we didn't already have enough stress.
I lay in bed wondering is this as good as it gets? I thought when you got married it fixed everything. I am quickly learning this is not the case. Where does the passion go? Why is it when you put the ring on your left finger, its like nothing really matters anymore. When we first started dating I felt like I was number one on the list. We could not wait to see each other, and always finding excuses to stay out later, just so we could be around each other. Now I am lucky if I get two hours in a day.
Is this as good as it gets? I really hope not.