Around Valentine's Day, when all the on-line dating companies
"hype" themselves, I thought, OK - I will try again. But this time it
will be different, because I am NOT a believer of this dating method at all.
Every guy I have met online so far is not my type. I have never gotten around
to caring enough to put myself in motion to actually leave my comfy nest to
even see one of these males in person. By the second or third phone call - it's
I am an active listener. There are key things I look for, and when
I hear or read something that sets me off, I make a mental note. Three strikes
and they are out (via email or a phone call or a face-to face meeting). I like
to work in 3's. Three email exchanges, three phone calls, and three dates.
Usually by then I have more than enough information about guys to decide if I
explore this any further.
Rules can always be broken, though :)
In the world of non-line dating (when you actually meet someone
face-to-face) so far no one has made it past the 3rd date in quite awhile.
Close, but then their true colors show. And, like listening to the radio - I
tune them out and search for another station.
Also, I made a pact with myself that when starting this new
online site recently. I would pick one night/week for one hour, just to see
what was in my inbox, who smiled at me, who IM'ed me etc. I don't approach
guys, either. It's NOT natural in human mating behavior. I want to be pursued.
And, I chose Monday - to see what was up for the week. However, when I did join
this particular “on-line” site, I did spend a few hours reading profiles etc.
just to get a general overview to see if it was for me.
I was losing faith, until earlier this week, when the "Prinz" caught my attention.
On Monday - I checked my account. BLECH. Also - I don't respond
anymore to any of these guys that contact me, unless I'm interested. In my
experience, being nice and polite as you reject someone still hurts their
feelings. And some get really angry and fire it back to me. I don't need that
grief. It's easier to ignore and delete.
I have deleted a lot! I don't know why I attract fat, balding
men - dressed badly- holding a fish that they caught – while posing infront of
their 4-wheel drives. I don't know why I attract guys in their 20's (well, I do
know - but I'm not interested) and I keep getting men that are at least a
decade older than me. In my age bracket - I've never found anyone that meets my
profile descriptions. I want someone as old as me. I prefer them to be 3-4
years older, actually.
It's disheartening, to say the least. But then, as I was about
to click off the site last week, there was the "Prinz" - a new member. And HOLY
COW -WOW! Was he stunning. He smiled at me. 2 seconds later, and I would have
been gone off of that site. Lucky me!
We emailed back and forth via that site. Then we got off that
site and moved to our personal email accounts. He's almost my dream guy. A
playwright, an author, does tons of community service, organizes a Shakespeare
theater group, thinks green, LOVES music, has a daughter - but in high school
(I’d prefer no kids). loves yoga, plays guitar and piano, loves theater and
ballet, loves to dance, and best of all - he is planning on opening his own
centre for Spiritual Health. Loves Wayne Dyer etc. OMG - we have SOOOO much in
common. He's 47. And - he tells me I am his dream girl. Loves my picture. And,
he loves sex. He makes this very clear. And, we flirt. His name is Angus.
Then we talk on the phone. Even better. He's funny. And he seems
wise and open-minded. He tells me all about his past, and why he takes
accountability for his role in those failed relationships. He was a bad boy.
But he changed his ways and now he has a whole new perception of the world.
Great. We “match”. He seems wise and reformed. He asked me to meet him for
lunch at a cute pub in a cute area that I love on Sunday - at 2 pm.
Friday he sent me an email. "I can't wait to meet you on
Sunday" he says and then adds, "Can you send me another photo – I’ve
stared at all of your photos on the site and I can't wait to see more of
send him another picture - only in this pic, my hair is curly - not straight.
It's cute. And I tell him I'll meet him on Sunday.
And the next morning, I wake up to an email from him. And I
quote " Yeah, I don't really feel any physical chemistry to you so, if you
still want to meet for lunch, maybe we can just be friends? If so, Sunday at 2 pm."
I replied with 3 sentences, " Sure. Sunday. 2 pm."
STRIKE ONE: I want to see for myself - in person - just what a
jerk this open-minded, spiritually-enlightened person is for myself. Talk about
making a judgment before even seeing me in person! I like that restaurant. I
like to shop in that area. And, I can use him as a wing-man as I work the room
searching for a guy with manners and respect for me. GAME ON! I will level him,
Dating is like playing chess. The Queen controls the board. I am
the Queen, heh heh...
Today is the day. Sunday. I’m getting ready to go and VOILA – an EMAIL
flies in from this guy, Angus – asking for a rain check. He’s tired. His
brother was in the hospital all night with cramps, and HE’S so exhausted from
waiting at the hospital overnight, and he needs a nap. STRIKE 2! An email? That deserves a phone call.
But hey, he says he’ll call me tonight.
It’s after 8 pm. My cut-off time for phone calls is 9 pm.
I think we have a STRIKE 3 coming up.
Right now, the only thing between Angus and “A-hole” is the
I’m not angry, really. I had a nice day despite the
cancellation. And, instead of writing in my journal tonight, I chose to blog
this instead. And cleanse this out of my head. And now I am off to have a nice
relaxing bath before bed. And, at 9 pm., the phone goes “off”.
Tomorrow is Monday, and the game begins again… And Angus has been removed from my board.