Wow. So I just read two articles: One puts me in the category of women who are hardly getting married and the other stated that A LOT of people aren't getting married...

First, I want to confess that I WANT TO GET MARRIED. And I don't care if that puts me in the minority, because I am already in the category of women who apparently don't get married very often (black women). Here's why:


I am one of those women who came out of the womb planning her special day with her special guy. And as I got older I saw marriage as a goal, something I want to accomplish. I want to have a family. I want to be in love. Not only that, my desire to marry also comes from what I don't want. I don't want to have a child out of wedlock. I don't want to be alone my whole life. I don't want to have sex with bunches and bunches of men. I don't want to continue to have to decipher who's going to treat me right and who's not. I don't want to continue to deal with men who aren't good enough for me. The fact is marriage to the right guy will control for all of that. If he's the right guy, he will want to have kids with me. He will not leave me. He'll enjoy sex just as much as I do. He's going to treat me right. He'll be good enough for me, because he is the right man for me.

Now, I have learned that a lot of other factors can affect what kind of future you'll see with a guy. Like where you meet him. Now this doesn't mean that you open your options by getting on websites like myspace or facebook and looking for a date. It means that if you're at your sister's basketball game and you see someone attractive, you introduce yourself. It means that you can't be opposed to dating outside your race. It means you can't be too picky about age. (Yes, in some cases age discrimination is a good thing. Someone in a different stage of life than you is usually not a good way to go.) It means you don't blow him off for wearing pants a little tighter than you'd like. As for myspace and facebook as a dating site - not a good idea. The kind of person who is open to dating somebody they met from myspace or facebook is usually not the kind of person in it for the long term. (and by long term I mean more than a month or so.) Thinking outside of the box means being discriminate about some things and lenient about others. It means doing things differently than you have been in order to get different results.

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