Almost inevitably, you’ve all but deserted your New Year’s resolutions—more sex, less bickering, more patience. But your marriage is still on the rocks. According to married co-authors of Eight Lessons For A Happier Marriage, one of these seven deadly habits may be to blame.
You're wearing that to dinner? You lost another client? Do your love handles really need dessert?
Your marriage—or at least your husband—may be falling victim to criticism. Let the poor man be! Easing up will increase his self-esteem and decrease tension in your relationship.
If you'd taken the dog out he wouldn't have peed on the rug! You didn't tell me we're out of milk! If you didn't snore I wouldn't be so tired!
Give credit where credit is due, but choose your battles. Before you attack him, determine whether his actions warrant blame, whether the benefits of identifying who is at fault outweigh the means. If your motivation is self-satisfaction, redirect your energy toward remedying the situation.
This apartment makes me claustrophobic! My jeans are too tight. My boss hates me.
Listen to yourself. Yes, you are a downer and a miserable person to be around. If you wouldn't want to listen to your endless list of complaints, neither does your husband. File away your complaints and focus on the positive parts of your life.
Put your dishes in the dishwasher. Have you gotten the mail? Call your mother.
Instead of constantly harassing your husband with demands, sit down with him to divide and conquer household responsibilities once and for all. If chores stack up throughout the day while you're apart, make a list for him and prepare yourself for seeing his tasks carried out at his convenience, not yours.