7 Deadly Sins Of Marriage
Avoid these habits to save your marriage.
Almost inevitably, you’ve all but deserted your New Year’s resolutions—more sex, less bickering, more patience. But your marriage is still on the rocks. According to married co-authors of Eight Lessons For A Happier Marriage, one of these seven deadly habits may be to blame.
1. Criticizing.
You're wearing that to dinner? You lost another client? Do your love handles really need dessert?
Your marriage—or at least your husband—may be falling victim to criticism. Let the poor man be! Easing up will increase his self-esteem and decrease tension in your relationship.
2. Blaming.
If you'd taken the dog out he wouldn't have peed on the rug! You didn't tell me we're out of milk! If you didn't snore I wouldn't be so tired!
Give credit where credit is due, but choose your battles. Before you attack him, determine whether his actions warrant blame, whether the benefits of identifying who is at fault outweigh the means. If your motivation is self-satisfaction, redirect your energy toward remedying the situation.
3. Complaining.
This apartment makes me claustrophobic! My jeans are too tight. My boss hates me.
Listen to yourself. Yes, you are a downer and a miserable person to be around. If you wouldn't want to listen to your endless list of complaints, neither does your husband. File away your complaints and focus on the positive parts of your life.
4. Nagging.
Put your dishes in the dishwasher. Have you gotten the mail? Call your mother.
Instead of constantly harassing your husband with demands, sit down with him to divide and conquer household responsibilities once and for all. If chores stack up throughout the day while you're apart, make a list for him and prepare yourself for seeing his tasks carried out at his convenience, not yours.
Discussion
So, I don't think I committed these sins, but I suspected that my husband was cheating on me -- took an online infidelity quiz and it turns out he really was cheating on me! I felt sad and ashamed, and now I'm still trying to get over it, but not sure what caused it. I really don't think we committed these "sins."
Jadedlover, be careful when you are taking these quizes, and this goes out to everyone else out there...I just took the quiz that you posted the link to and answered the questions in terms of what my honest responses would be with the result that my partner should be very concerned that I'm cheating and should look for a private investigator to back up that claim right away.
I've never cheated on anyone in my life.
I'm guessing that you got confirmation from your husband, so for you it was an honest answer, but your best bet in a situation where you think your SO is cheating is to confront them on it. I took that quiz 10 ten times to double check it after the first time...no matter how you answer it the result is always the same. Before going and doing something that will potentially end your marriage or relationship make sure to talk with your partner first.
In your case, Jaded, if your husband cheated on you and you honestly don't know why then odds are it had nothing at all to do with you. He has some sort of issue or issues that are all his own. Don't spend too much time wondering what caused it, at least until you have definitely, honestly ruled out that there was nothing you did to drive him away. Personally, even if you did do something to push him away, he doesn't have much of a back bone if he can't address that issue with you or end the marriage before hurting you.
