Avoid these habits to save your marriage.
Almost inevitably, you’ve all but deserted your New Year’s resolutions—more sex, less bickering, more patience. But your marriage is still on the rocks. According to married co-authors of Eight Lessons For A Happier Marriage, one of these seven deadly habits may be to blame.
You're wearing that to dinner? You lost another client? Do your love handles really need dessert?
Your marriage—or at least your husband—may be falling victim to criticism. Let the poor man be! Easing up will increase his self-esteem and decrease tension in your relationship.
If you'd taken the dog out he wouldn't have peed on the rug! You didn't tell me we're out of milk! If you didn't snore I wouldn't be so tired!
Give credit where credit is due, but choose your battles. Before you attack him, determine whether his actions warrant blame, whether the benefits of identifying who is at fault outweigh the means. If your motivation is self-satisfaction, redirect your energy toward remedying the situation.
This apartment makes me claustrophobic! My jeans are too tight. My boss hates me.
Listen to yourself. Yes, you are a downer and a miserable person to be around. If you wouldn't want to listen to your endless list of complaints, neither does your husband. File away your complaints and focus on the positive parts of your life.
Put your dishes in the dishwasher. Have you gotten the mail? Call your mother.
Instead of constantly harassing your husband with demands, sit down with him to divide and conquer household responsibilities once and for all. If chores stack up throughout the day while you're apart, make a list for him and prepare yourself for seeing his tasks carried out at his convenience, not yours.
If I pick up one more pair of your socks off the floor—so help me God!—I'll divorce you! Fine. Go to sleep. I'll just call [insert name of cute co-worker or former boyfriend] the next time I'm in the mood.
Throwing around the "D" word—or "I" word, infidelity—will only put you both on edge. Imagine life without your husband before you pull out that lethal, hurtful weapon. See number four for ways to avoid nagging–or else.
He leaves the seat up and you leave his toothbrush in the toilet bowl. He tracks in mud and you dispose of his shoes.
While vengeful punishments may have passed as play in summer camp or accepted among siblings, spouse rivalry leads to nothing but sour feelings. Grow up and give up on the passive aggression.
If you come to the party, I'll make it worth it later. If you get a hair cut I'll start shaving my legs again.
If you think you will whip your husband into shape by using weapons such as sex, think again. Try channeling bribery into compromise and thinking not what your husband can do for you, but what you can do together as a couple.