One-night stands: for or against? The Daily Bedpost posed this question earlier this week, and readers responded in favor of the casual liaison. Em and Lo, in turn, laid out ten basic rules of the one-night stand. After all, knowing you'll never see him again does not give you (or him) permission to be rude. Some of our favorites (abbreviated, and with a bit of interpretation):
Do make your intentions clear.
Do not talk about your father's alcoholism or your sister's rehab.
Do talk about safe sex.
Do not get mushy and romantic.
Do it doggie-style.
Do not kick someone out before sunrise.
Do one-night it with an Italian.
Do not update your Facebook status with said Italian's name.
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Do tell a friend where you're going. (Just in case.)
Do not sneak out of his bed without saying goodbye.
Do ask for his digits if you want 'em.
Do not leave your bra at his house.
Do not go into a coma.
Wait—that last one is not in our one-night stand guide, but after reading this essay on Nerve, we thought perhaps we should add it. "The Little Death" is possibly the worst one-night stand story we've ever heard.
She still isn't awake. For ten minutes now my attempts to wake Katie have progressed from a gentle nudge to a violent assault that would likely get me arrested in most states. She's still breathing, so she isn't dead. Thank God.
While her body lies prone in my bed, I frantically search the room for my phone, although I have no idea whom to call. Is it too soon for 911? How long can you wait before it's considered gross negligence? If I call the paramedics, they'll call the police, who will call Katie's parents, who will undoubtedly get a lawyer. The remainder of my college fund will be used to cover the legal fees.
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One minute you're bringing a girl back to your apartment, undressing each other as you fumble with the lock, and the next minute you'll never be a doctor.