Tales Of A Football Fan—And His Wife
How does a woman understand her husband's passion for football? The shoe metaphor.
Part I. by James W. Powell
My wife doesn't understand the pain I'm suffering. I can tell by the way she's looking at me—tilting her head and studying me as if I were an extraterrestrial. I'm lying in bed next to her with the lights on, staring at the ceiling fan, my mind racing with What Ifs and Shoulda Woulda Couldas.
There's comforting concern in her eyes, but there's bafflement in there, too. "I don't understand why you're so upset," she says, reaching out to caress my shoulder.
I take a deep breath and sigh yet again. The wound is too fresh. I'm not sure I can open up to her. And honestly, I'm not sure I'll ever recover. It still hurts to think of that 4th and 26 from three years ago.
God, why did I have to think of that again? Not now. Please, not now. The Green Bay Packers just lost the NFC Championship, so of course all the past disasters and missed opportunities are surfacing again. But how could the Packers lose this one? The championship. At home. To the New York Giants. In overtime.
Oh God, just put me out of my misery. "It's not every year my team gets this far," I finally say, trying to make her understand. "I'll be lucky to see the Packers this deep into the playoffs before I'm 40."She doesn't respond.
"I was just hoping they'd get a chance to win the Super Bowl one last time —especially before Favre retires."
She stares at me. I can tell she still has no idea what I'm talking about. I try again, pushing through the pain.
"You know when you were a kid, and you had a best friend in school?" Again with the blank stare. "Remember being inseparable? You talked everyday, played during recess, went everywhere together. You wouldn't dream of doing anything without each other?"
Stephanie answers me only with her eyes, but I can tell she's intent on learning what it's like to support a team so strongly. How To Manage His Love Of Football
"Well, imagine the two of you have been planning a huge party over the summer. You're looking forward to it so much; it's all you think about. Sometimes you can't even sleep. Then one day out of nowhere she tells you she's leaving for summer camp. One second you're best friends planning the biggest party ever, and the next minute her parents are stealing her away from you and shipping her off to some stupid summer camp. That's what it feels like."
"But you'll see her again, right? It's not like summer camp is forever," Stephanie says.
"Well, yeah. But it's not the same. You don't know if she'll be the same when she comes back. And besides, the party. It was going to be the best ever. And not having your friend or the party—when you were looking forward to it all that time—it breaks your heart. It was all that mattered."
Stephanie rolls onto her back and ponders the ceiling with me.
"I just lost by best friend," I mutter after a minute. At this, she props herself up on her elbows. "You're not going to cry, are you?" she asks.
Discussion
Not a football,basketball,baseball,hockey,soccer golf,NASCAR,or even billiards or poker --TV fan. Some actually think the later two ARE sports-and of course the partcipants would have to be 'athletes'. I like physical activity. I even played football for the Air Force and often joined local softball groups. I like to run, sail,canooe, exercise, even use to body build back in my 20's. So it's not as if I'm averse to physical challange. I'm just not a fan of watching them on TV. While I might go and see a Miami Dolphins game or go to Daytona to see a race(it's been a long while), watching one on TV just seems so mindless. Ever observe someone watching a NASCAR race on TV? It appears they're doing a 'range-of-motion' exercise with their neck. Round and round, for hours! Talk about monotomy. And basketball, that involves only lateral movements of the head-left...then right.....then left.....then right. Same head motions as in a ping-pong tournament-only slower. Golf, forget it. Aside from the excitement and suspense of watching it, any fan viewing it with you on TV could have suffered a cardiac arrest at the first tee and you wouldn't ever know it tilll after the 18th hole.
I often wondered if maybe I was missing a certain 'gene' that most other males had. I actually don't miss 'not being interested.' Neither did my wife. Superbowl Sunday is often one of the best days to go out sailing down here in Florida. There's no yahoo's out catching 'wahoo's' out on the water in their noisy motorboats-DWB-ing(Drinking or Drunk While Boating). Florida winters are most often crystal clear skies,moderate temperature, and low humidity. We're the only fools not sitting at home watching TV on such a beautiful day.
Many years ago -in my 20's(a few years ago) I use to join my friends for TV Football games. By my 30''s-when I actually quit drinking altogether, I realized the only real attraction had been a reason for drinking lots of beer. The social aspect was good... I thought. Interacting with old friends, talking about everything, drinking beer and having a good time. The wives or girlfriends got time to chat, and relax and just hang out. When I quit drinking ....and went to join them to watch the games.....I realized- there wasnt much REAL conversation or communication after the first two or three beers. At least nothing you could really call exchange of coherent ideas. And some had opened that third beer on the way TO the game. So, Superbowl Sunday, I go for a jog, and enjoy the intracoastal or the ocean-all to myself. My old friends, who have become even MUCH BIGGER fans thanks to trays of lasagna, cheeses, chips,dip,pretzels,meatballs(alright, I am getting hungry now) and of course-the kegs of beer, can't figure why I don't like sports.
Sports and the Dating Scene. Having recently become single again and even more recently finally checked out some of the internet dating sites- I can't help but notice all the women that are 'die hard' sport enthusiasts. Or so they claim. I'm a little intimidated. NO, I'm very intimidated. I read her bio and am attracted. Pretty face, attractive legs,beautiful eyes "Five foot seven,130lbs Brunette hair, social drinker,smoking-'420'(what is that suppose to mean), enjoy traveling, family,watersports(don't go there) AND NEVER MISS A SEMINOLES,PACKERS, BOSTON BRUINS OR CELTICS GAME! " "So" says she on our first date. "Who's your team this Sunday?" Oh, uh, ya mean football team? " No, this is basketball season." I'd be lost. I'd feel my 'masculinity was in the balance. My longtime friends wife says women just feign interest in sports to relate to men. Well, If I met her and really liked her, and she really was interested in following all the games, I guess I could patronize her interest. Women have been doing it for years.
BTW--- Would this author even be complaining if the Packers had won the Super Bowl???? I think she/he would be ridin' the GOOD YEAR Blimp all da waaaaay home. Whoa Nelly goin' for da deep 6 and screaming a few Hail Mary's along da way. Turn out da the lights--- dat party not over Dandy Don. LOL
The only comparison between football and shoes I can see is they are both maufactured from leather. We say don't compare apples and oranges and heck at least they are both fruit 4 crying out loud! LOL
How bout working Grey's Anatomy, Desperative Housewives, Young and the Restless into the equation eh?
My Super Bowl classic comparison would be General Hospital -the year 1985- the bedroom was like the frozen tundra of Curly Lambeau field home of the Packers. As Luke and Laura walked through the tunnell and entered the aisle to exchange vows no tight ends could be seen- totally blocked- as all offensive strategies were denied and defence stole the show as there was no completed passes , no holes to plunge through and definitely the opposing red zone was inpenetrable. Any and all maneuvers were flagged with Kleenex for illegal procedure as tears flowed. As Luke slipped the Vince Lombardi trophy onto Laura's finger did I also weep profusely as I envisionned Dan Marino shouting I'm going to Disneyland.? Then I understood-soap opera fanatics are worse than the biggest football fan which I consider myself to be.
Many guys I know watched that episode of GH and many women love sports. In a relationship we choose to share in the excitement of our partner's passions or enable them to enjoy them with other friends or alone. Either way, the most fanatical fan of soap operas and/or football would not complain.
Funny too how many football fans later watch the highlights and many soap fans watch North West Afternoon- home of self-appointed soap opera queen/ guru Cindi Reinhart. A voice more annoying than Howard Cosell ever could be.
I think you gotta understand football and/or General Hospital and be at least 35 y/o to even get this posting-LOL-------BTW-- Cardinals 24 Steel Curtain 23--Super Bowl XLIII - February 1st.
don't you think this is a little stereotypical? he likes football, she can't understand unless she's thinking about shoes??? i know plenty of women who are into sports.
I have a friend who's fiance is obsessed with baseball. His mood is determined by whether his team wins or loses. He once woke her up in the middle of the night by yelling at the television--and he was on down the hall in a different room on the other side of the apartment. But she's been great about it--she goes to games with him and is now a fan and has taken it all in stride. She didn't really have a choice, but she's done well with it.
