Registration, Please.

Registration, Please.

I finally found something more fun when planning for a wedding than buying the dress: registering for gifts.

Fred and I had actually been putting it off. It seemed like such an arduous process, picking out every kitchen appliance, china pattern and bed linens we would ever want in our house (and then not getting to take any of it home). It was four hours that we didn't really have to spare on a weekend, since we're (still) remodeling Fred's house (yes, that is bitterness you detect).

Then my sister sent out bridal shower invitations and she called me three days in a row to remind me that if I wanted gifts from people, I should probably register. So on Sunday Fred and I went to Target, Crate and Barrel, and Bed, Bath & Beyond.

I was in charge of the list of stuff we were supposed to register for from the (what the hell is a double old-fashioned glass??) and Fred was in charge of the scanner. Note: Ladies, if your fiancé is anything like mine, this is a BAD idea. We now are registered for a kegerator and the latest version of Guitar Hero.

I forgave these as soon as I saw the cookware at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I rapidly pointed to items for Fred to scan as I patronizingly explained to him why we needed a jumbo crockpot, a Le Creuset dutch oven and a $100 set of knives. I built my dream kitchen in less than an hour and it was a better high than the first (and only, admittedly) time I did cocaine.

At the end of our shopping spree, Fred begrudgingly handed over the scanner. That night, with visions of draft Heinekens dancing in his head, Fred came up with a brilliant plan. That we should register for every holiday: Christmas, his birthday, Labor Day, President's Day…

I'm afraid I've created a monster.


Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
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