From The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm, by Vera and Steve Bodansky
The two of us—Vera and Steve—have beens students and teachers of sensuality for a total of more than fifty years. We make sensuality and pleasure the highest priority in our lives, more important than success or anything else. This does not mean we stay in bed all the time, stimulating each other. It does mean that when we reach a fork in the road or have to make a decision, we choose the path that feels the most pleasurable and fun. We have both chosen "orgasm" as our field of specialization—specifically, orgasm in women—although we also study and teach about men's orgasms to both classes and private clients. We cannot think of a more pleasurable subject.
We believe that humans have the power to create our lives as we want them to be. We are the directors and creators of our experience. However, because of societal prejudices, it is often difficult to express the desire for pleasure, especially sensual pleasure. Our work has been made possible by the earlier work of heroes who were able to step out of the box and notice that the emperor was wearing no clothes—and what's more, that the emperor was having a lot of fun without his clothes. Dr. Vic Baranco, pioneering sexologist and master teacher, has been our biggest hero. He showed us that orgasm does not have to be limited to a few seconds and a few contractions; it can begin with or before the first touch or stroke and continue throughout the whole sexual experience; it can last many minutes or even hours at ever-increasing intensities that far surpass the usual, short orgasm. That, in a nutshell, is the definition of an extended massive orgasm, or EMO.
If you want to learn to give an orgasm, there are many techniques to learn, but if you want to learn to receive one, you need to do as little as possible. The person getting done—the one being rubbed on, the "doee"—needs to be free to put as much attention as feasible on what he or she feels, especially on the stroke that's happening currently. The doee must be focused on the present moment. We have repeatedly stated that the best way to receive an EMO is to be as relaxed as possible. In order to be relaxed, you must not be doing anything.
It takes energy to tense a body part. This is energy that distracts you from focusing on the sensations you feel. Being productive human beings, however, we often find it difficult to relax, and the tensed-up state may seem more natural to us. The common image most people hold of an orgasm is of a man who tenses his body until he ejaculates. Women have been conditioned to imitate this way of having an orgasm. Therefore, it may take some practice and training to learn to relax while a partner pleasures you. Whenever you feel tension in a part of your body, tell yourself to relax. Ask your partner to notice when you tense up and remind you to relax. Your body knows how to relax, and given a reminder, it usually does.
To be stimulated to an extended orgasm, a person must know what kind of strokes feel best to him or her. One of the best ways to learn this is by becoming intimately familiar with one's own body. Once you know how best to be pleasured, you can relate the information to your partner, so he or she can take you to the next level of pleasure.
Unfortunately, when many people masturbate, they fail to take the most possible pleasure from the act. They do it to relieve themselves of the pressure of their tumescence, without taking the time to feel each stroke. Masturbation is a goal-oriented activity for many, and as a result the pleasure derived from it is minimal.
Becoming familiar with the various ways our bodies feel and look is vitally important to the serious student of sensuality. Besides helping you love yourself more, the basic tool of intimate knowledge of your body also equips you to be a better lover to someone else.
To become good at almost anything, you have to practice. To gain knowledge in a certain area, you have to do research. The following exercises, more than any other techniques we teach, have helped numerous students of sensuality to learn more about, and to love, their bodies.
A word of advice: Do the exercises in the order presented here. The exercise that deals directly with masturbation is preceded by four important exercises that, if done in the proper order, will enhance your masturbatory sensations.
More Juicy Content From YourTango: