Bouncing back after a divorce, in reality can feel like one slow trudge through the mud. Sexologist (yes, there is such a job) Sari Locker offers tips for jumpstarting your love life after a divorce. Offering advice such as:
When you first start dating again, it's common to worry whether you'll find anyone you're attracted to. Contrary to popular belief, it's not because all the good ones are taken. Sure, you might not feel that instant hormonal rush when you meet someone cute like you did in your youth, but — if you have patience and date more than one or two people — you will find someone who gives you that giddy feeling. Case in point: After her 20-year marriage ended, Kim, 44, from Louisville, KY, feared that her dating prospects wouldn't be attractive to her. But after scanning an online dating site she realized this was hardly the case. "I saw a guy named ‘Buddy' who was totally hot!" she recalls. They met for a date and he turned out to be even better-looking in person, debunking Kim's fears that the pickings are slim in the post-divorce dating pool. "I couldn't believe that there were available men out there with his kind of looks — a Don Johnson type," she says.
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In addition to following Kim's lead and looking for prospects online, consider joining a book club, park clean-up team, or other volunteer group that will expose you to like-minded people. (Added bonus: Activities serve as instant ice-breakers and ease off some of the pressure you might feel in a bar or on a blind date.) What if you meet someone, and there aren't instant sparks? Give it time: Attraction can grow the more you get to know and trust someone new.
So divorcees, start your engines. It's time to make up for lost time and get rolling. Forget your feelings of self-doubt. Where you see a drab middle-aged mother of three, some guy may see a sexy mature woman. Just don't forget the birth control. Unless your post menopausal, that is, which is even sexier.