This just in: Drunk people spend money like crazy. News flash: Young people think they’re invincible. Breaking story: People who get drunk and have unprotected sex often end up pregnant or with sores on their junk. Basically, this story boils down to 90% of women who attend sexual health clinics in a sector of England. Women who drank heavily were 40% more likely to be diagnosed with a STD. And abortion clinics are gearing up for a post-holiday rush. Eesh. It’s being recommended that pubs and cabs start carrying and handing out free condoms. That is a good start. It’s hard to make public policy around these things though, even armed with good data. It seems like the best thing to do is to educate everyone, provide prophylactics and hope the next bunch coming up views this as a cautionary tale. The crazy thing is that the UK has socialized medicine; it doesn’t make much sense to not have regular check ups. The second half of this, the UPDAC (Unintentional Pregnancies Due to Alcohol Consumption) portion, is another reason that the British government is considering making birth control available over the counter. We guess friends don’t let friends drink and have unprotected intercourse. There could be a great series of PSAs on this; we’re pretty sure no one’s ever gotten AIDS or pregnant from making out with someone and then given each other handies. Food for thought for booze-bags.
Even if you only have basic cable, you can still get some booty. Just tune into Modern Family and tell yourself that you're watching it "for the jokes."