Can You Orgasm From Intercourse Alone?
Most women can orgasm from masturbation, but not everyone comes during sex. YourTango investigates.
Sophie*, 27, and Janine, 30, were headed down to the corner deli for their usual breakfast: bagels with cream cheese, tomato, and onion. Coworkers and close friends outside the office, for the past three years they had chewed over just about everything together-dating disasters, same-sex experimentation, their divergent definitions of feminism. Still, Janine paused mid-bite when Sophie said, out of the blue: "I'm polling my girlfriends, so I wanted to ask: Do you need to use your hands to orgasm
when you have sex?"
In this age of frank talk about getting it on-courtesy of six seasons of Sex and the City-suddenly, everyone's a sexpert. It's not only accepted, but expected, that we dissect our love lives over brunch. And it's rare that any racy inquiry has conversation-stopping powers.
With one exception. Now, we've moved beyond the yes-or-no question of whether friends orgasm-to the new dishy issue du jour: how, exactly, we all get there. His hands? Yours? A little help from a vibrator? Is intercourse a sure-fire autobahn to ecstasy for everyone? Is an orgasm from penetration alone somehow better? And if it doesn't work for you, does that mean something's wrong?
Your Orgasm, Explained
Facts first: 80 percent of women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone, says Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. Still, "many women are socially wired to expect to orgasm via penetration," he says.
The good news? An orgasm achieved through penetration isn't a better, more intense, or a more "real" sexual experience than any other. To understand why requires clearing up a common misconception: "There's no such thing as a pure vaginal orgasm," says Kerner. "The path to consistent, satisfying female orgasms is through clitoral stimulation."
Now, here's the rub: you may be stimulating your clitoris without knowing it. "Many people think of the clitoris as the little nub that's hidden by the clitoral hood and juts out of the body," says Carolyn Riccardi, education coordinator at Babeland, a female-friendly sex shop in New York City. "But that's not the case. The clitoris is actually shaped like a wishbone. The clitoral 'legs' extend back into the bodym, so when a woman is penetrated, the clitoris is responding to sensation."
The bottom line: "All orgasms are created equal," says Riccardi. Reassuring, but aren't you still curious? If only one in five women orgasms from intercourse alone, how do the rest get off: One-handed, no-handed, go-to sex toy? In the spirit of full disclosure, I asked friends and strangers alike to share their secrets.
The Haves and The Have-Nots
So, who can do it no-handed-and who can't? "My first orgasm was from penetration," confesses Julie, 27. "I've always been able to get off, no hands needed. My friends get jealous when I tell them that, but I'm actually jealous of them!" Julie had to learn how to have an orgasm from oral sex-or by self-stimulation. "I thought something was wrong with me!" she laments.
Discussion
It also depends on how you are having sex. One way to help achieve climax through intercourse is to have the guy fully penetrate the woman while she is sitting on the couch, is on bed or table etc... (man and woman facing each other) and then while inside her, slowly press his pubic bone against hers thereby pressing on her clit.
For someone new at this, it may take a while to get used to but once you gain the rhythm it works like a charm. And you don't have to do the pressing n grinding thing every time you push inside her. Do some good stroking, then go all the way and grind some, then back to stroking. Get a good rhythm going and keep the clit stimulated. it sure will bring her to a good climax. My gf gets very intense orgasm through vaginal intercourse and he moans, groans, screams and claws at me during the whole process.. I absolutely love it, especially the feeling of her inside clenching me is hot! Hope others can use this method and also benefit.
I can rarely climax without clitoral stimulation,I had to even learn this with difficulty.I at one point had a vaginal orgasm and then one day with a guy I didnt love or think was all that we were on the couch making love .I don't even know what caused it but suddenly I felt this feeling well up inside me and It was simialr to when I orgasm when I masturbate,I tought to myself omg I think Im coming,I even said it out loud so he wouldn't stop or change rhythm,boom I climaxed.It wasn't the most intense in itself but was so different I actually wept tears of joy and release .I havent had too many since.I think it has to be in a certain position,enough stimulation and I have to close my eyes and focus deeply,even go into an intense fantasy,really concetrating on what I feel,i can't even make noise ,I have to just sort of tensemy whole body up and force it out so to speak.It sucks in a way it's easier to climax using my finger to please myself,but it seems that men don't like it when a woman masturbates during intercourse.So I have to pleas myself later on when Im alone most times.
What is a man to do with severe ED when there is no cure? Has to be inventive and flexible. Your hands can do things that will surprise one. You can reach many spots at once! The main thing is not to give up. If one can not get an erection, they sometimes, just do not try, anymore. Thus, your partner is also suffering due to your problem. So you owe her to try to do something, cuddling, kissing and using one's hands, etc becomes very important. Ladies like to enjoy those ineffable tingles when you get working on the right spot.
Yes yes yes there are two different types of orgasms and they feel different.
However ladies this is not always a good thing. I had always joked that anyone cold make me come. Well I found out that there are men that can not satisfy me.
My recent lover had very serious erectile dysfunction and was not overly endowed. He was however a skilled man in the oral department. Although I had "clit cums" as I call them I never had a vaginal orgasm with him and it made me crazy.
Many of my girlfriends said they would be happy to have a man skilled with oral alone. Being that was one of the main ways they could orgasm. For me it was painful there were more than a few times I cried over the situation. It was torture NOT to have vaginal orgasms. So you ladies that fret over not having vaginal orgasms don't they can be a burden.
. why u need oral sex? clitoris may be stimulated by penetration.u know G-spot [ by the name of german gynacologist, Ernst Gräfenberg ] receives the stimulation from friction of penis and vaginal wall inside the interoitus. so, just leave oral sex. those who does oral got worse oral hygiene and more chance of oral fungal diseases. so, do cariase and have penetration, rather than oral.
My husband and I have a fantastic sex life.
The secret? We just do whatever the other person wants, what we ourselves want, and we aren't afraid to ask each other for it or get insulted if one of us or the other isn't immediately turned on. Just stop worrying about it, and how it works and be honest with your partner. Stop analyzing.
Sorry, (acutally I'm not sorry) but some of this information is wrong, wrong, wrong. I am so tired of reading that there is only one type of orgasm- one involving the clitoris- because I know for a fact that there is indeed a vaginal orgasm. I have orgasms during intercourse that are very different from those I have when I'm receiving oral sex or when I'm stimulating my clitoris. And yes, they are more intense. Apparently the researchers who have studied this have not had enough subjects who are in the 20% of women who have orgasms during intercourse. I regularly have orgasms in which there is nothing anywhere near my clitoris.
I've got a position that stimulates both. It helps if the woman is very aroused,,,, meaning wet and engorged. Start out in the missionary position fairly deep. Girls, bring your legs together, guys, let her legs pass under yours and put your knees outside of hers. Plus it helps to hook your feet around her ankles. Most girls get a spasm that opens their legs when it feels really good, lol. This positioning forms a tunnel between the thighs and the labia putting more pressure and friction more of the labia as well as the clitoris. Girls, experiment with how tight you close youre legs, guys, try different angles, just move up or down her body a bit, it can make a big difference. I've had 2 ladies hyperventilate from this orgasm, 1 even passed out for a minute or so. Enjoy!
Good Luck and Great Sex,
T
Vaginal orgasms exist and they are different from clitoral orgasms. There is a growing consensus among sex researchers that these are two separate types of orgasm. It's actually more like two in five women who can have vaginal orgasms. I wrote a book, The Orgasmic Diet, that helps women have vaginal orgasms.
Ogasim is all about letting go and going inside your mind girls... I am the no hands queen. stop matubating on your own... save the energy for your man, sex is all about fantacy weather with your husband, lover or other...being too awear of yourself, enviroment or is the TV on? turn it off!! the moment your trying too hard will only take it out of the way... if you cant come duing sex, hold on to the faith that you can, set it up in your mind, your ideal situation it may be your in public, oral sex by someone you dont now, your being watched, being raped... we all have freaky sexy thoughts that we dont want to own up to, they belong to us it OK. you need to be stimulated by enlarging your G-spot, this will happen by: press on you softness just above you pelvic bone... it presses you internaly, put a pillow under your hips and butt during intercourse, try having your lover not penitrate you fully each time with your legs crossed at the ankles ... Girls its all about angle, pressure and being relaxed... if your mind is buzzing and your physicly worn out forget... just f**k... or just lye there... dont do anything this may just get you started... dont feel guilty for not being the whore in the bed... this is all about you.
Good luck.
I'm dismayed that its still about "can you have an orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation?" Of course an orgasm via direct clitoral stimulation or indirect (the internal "legs" of the clitoris are getting stimulated via "vaginal" orgasms . just because it feels different, more intense, doesn't mean the clitoris isn't involved.) This post also doesn't touch on how many women get direct clitoral stimulation orgasms with the partner doing all the work. Where the woman doesn't have to supplement his lovemaking skills. It seemed all about some kind of pecking order -- women who can orgasm without hand/oral help are somehow superior.
Come on, lets be woman friendly here. All orgasms are fantastic. The key is a generous, patient, willing partner who gets turned on finding your pleasure buttons. A man who doesn't think his organ is the be-all-end-all of pleasure. Even worse, a woman who neglects her own sexual pleasure by subscribing to that view.
