Is He Smart Enough For You?

By YourTango

Is He Smart Enough For You?
What do you do when your fiancé isn't as smart as you? Cathi and Dan give advice.

Question: I'm in a terrible quandary. I'm 32 and ready to settle down, and I've been dating my boyfriend for three years. The good news is the sex is great, he treats me like gold—and we went ring shopping a few weeks ago. But the bad news is that I fear we're not compatible intellectually. We don't read the same books, and don't share any of the same cultural reference points. Everyone keeps telling me that it's OK—even preferable—to have different interests from your spouse. But what if we end up with nothing to say to each other in five years? I don't want to marry the wrong man just to get married. Gold Medalist

Her Take: There are so many ways to be successfully married. And there's a downright obnoxious myth in this country that one's spouse should be everything—from passionate, lifelong, monogamous sex partner to childrearing companion, intellectual equal, soul mate... did I skip anything? This is an impossible expectation to put on one human. The truth is, if you've got two or three of those going, you're in decent shape. As for the rest, that's why we have friends, family, neighbors, romance novels, and the porn industry.

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