The 14 Types of New Year's Eve Kisses, Ranked By Awkward Factor

new years eve kiss
Self, Family

Get that lipgloss ready, girl.

As every single girl knows, New Year’s seems so romantic and ripe with possibility (Sparkles! Champagne! Heels! A New Year that could bring love!), but the reality is: the night of high expectations usually turns out to be a dud.

Even so, when the clock strikes midnight, we all bring out our chapstick and look anxiously around the room for someone to ring in the New Year with a smooch. Though I’ve never kissed anyone I was dating at midnight (and the last two years, I watched jealously as all the couples around me made out), I still get my hopes up that one year, I will finally have on of those magical liplocks with someone I love.

I’m not alone though, nearly 60 percent of folks say they’d rather have a New Year’s kiss than a new computer - wow! So ready to pucker up? Here are the types New Year's Eve kisses you can expect during the first minute of 2015:

....

The kiss with a drunk person who literally would have kissed anyone: female, male, tree, anything, everything.

Awkward Factor: 2/5 champagne flutes. You're probably hammered, too so hooooooray, kisses for everyone!
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The sweet, shy guy that you have to basically force a smooch on.

Awkward Factor: 1/5 champagne flutes. He means SO well and ya know, if you have to ring in the New Year doing someone a favor, that's good karma, right?
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The I DID NOT want to kiss you, kiss from some weirdo.

Awkward Factor: 4/5 champagne flutes. C'mon dude, do not force yourself on me. Never appropriate, even if you're drunk. #sorrynotsorry
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The kiss with your gay hubby who also happens to be single (and cough, your date).

Awkward Factor: 1/5 champagne flutes: Oh whatever, he appreciates your boobs way more than any guy that's actually seen 'em.
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The this-is-our-third-date kiss and we really like each other. (And might have sex tonight!)

Awkward Factor: 3/5 champagne flutes. It's not really that awkward but your expectations are sooooo high. The bubbly could fizz one way or the other. #fingerscrossed.
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The we’ve been married for 5 years and we’re barely awake kiss but I’m still so happy to be married to you!

Awkward Factor: 0/5 champagne flutes. Aww. Love. It's really da best.
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The awkward, inappropriate kiss that you can’t believe happened.

Awkward Factor: 5/5 champagne flutes. A co-worker? An ex? Your BFF's ex? No matter the situation, this one is the WORST.
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The kiss with someone who feels more like your brother than a guy you want to smooch.

Awkward Factor: 4/5 champagne flutes. Almost as bad as the previous one ... but at least you can laugh about it.
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The kiss with the guy you’ve been talking to all night (and you’ve already thought about the how-we-met-at-a-New-Year’s-Eve-Party story you’ll tell your grandkids.)

Awkward Factor: However many champagne flutes you've had. You're drunk, he's drunk, you want love, he might too. Bottoms up.
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The kiss that makes you want to run far, far, far away.

Awkward Factor: 5/5 champagne flutes. If he licks the side of your face or can't find your mouth... get out. Grab a bottle on your way out, too.
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The kiss you have when you're the couple to be watched.

Awkward Factor: 3/5 champagne flutes. There's something about feeling like you're the center of attention that makes you a little stiffer than you should be.
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The kiss that you refuse to have because you are single, hot and confident, damnit!

Awkward Factor: 2/5 champagne flutes. This only works if you're able to stand up in your heels still. (Taxi, please!)
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The kiss with your pizza on the way home.

Awkward Factor: 1/5 champagne flutes. Seriously. Pizza is kind. Pizza is patient. Pizza is not jealous of the garlic knots.
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

The kiss with your puppy when you get home post-midnight to make up for any kisses you did or did not have.

Awkward Factor: 0/5 champagne flutes. Dogs > Men
New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

New Year's Eve, 2015, kissing

 

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