Photo: WeHeartIt
Defriending = the ultimate Internet f*ck you.
By Elle — Written on Mar 02, 2015
The end of a relationship can be tricky. But when you're "friends" on Facebook, things can be even trickier. In the beginning, it's a great chance for you to get to know (read: STALK) one another. But when things go south, people get blocked and worse, feelings get hurt.
And even though social media "relationships" are the least important ones on the totem pole of friendship, having one severed still feels like a virtual "f you," hence the cruel phrase, "I mean, we aren't even friends on Facebook." Oooh, BURN.
But what it does it mean when he doesn't even want to be friends on social media? Is this part of the no contact after a breakup?
Here are the reasons a man blocks you on social media:
1. He doesn't want to be tempted to contact you.
We all know about drunk texting (been there, done that) but drunk messaging/commenting/liking/and status-updating are real predicaments, too.
By blocking you, he's physically preventing himself from giving into his inebriated moments of weakness.
2. He's afraid of backlash.
Ever been privy to one of those TMI posts where someone on Facebook airs out their dirty laundry for all the Interwebs to see? (Yeah, awkward.)
Well, what if his name is tagged in one of those statuses? (Damn you/thank you for that 'tagging' feature, Zuckerberg!)
This may be exactly why he defriended you; he doesn't want you to know any compromising information about him post-breakup.
3. He doesn't want you to find his girlfriend or wife.
People who live double lives often haven't become crafty enough to separate the two on social media. No matter how careful he is, at some point he may have tagged (or been tagged) by current or ex-lovers on his Newsfeed.
He's afraid you might poke around and find skeletons in his (digital) closet.
4. He wants to hurt your feelings.
Believe it or not, women love social media because we're relationship nurturers. When someone won't be our Facebook friend, we take it as a sign they want nothing to do with us.
So even though it seems silly, it hurts when someone blocks us - and he knows that.
5. Seeing you on his newsfeed is painful for HIM.
When people genuinely want to move on, they'll do whatever it takes to make the process less painful.
That includes implementing the 'no communication rule' in which they don't speak to you anymore or they remove you from Facebook so they don't have to see constant reminders pop up in their feed.
Why do they take this cold-turkey approach? Because it works.
6. He's scared of you.
Was this breakup particularly messy? Did you show an ugly/crazy/abusive side? Did he? Well then, there you have it.
He may be so over the situation and the ugly way things ended, he may not want to communicate with you anymore, period.
7. He wants to passive-aggressively say "f you".
It's akin to leaving your ex's belongings on the lawn or locking them out of your house. But, like, on the Internet.
More for You:
Elle is a writer who covers relationships, grief and pop culture.