You say that your child's happiness and mental health are your top concerns. So what do you do when your child is depressed and hurting? Maybe hurting himself? Of course you get help. There are therapists and counselors, in-patient and out-patient programs specifically for children and adolescents.
Since I began pulling out my hair over 20 years ago I do not remember one day that I did not pull at least one hair on my body out. Yes there have been times in which I had no bald spots, had all of my eyelashes, etc...but I still pulled. It was not for lack of trying. There was a time that I saw therapists, tried medication, and would even try to will myself to stop. Yet I kept right on pulling. I have a disorder called trichotillomania.
I was posed a question which I find interesting. “Would you like to know if someone hit on me during the day?” Not in a “this is sexual harassment, I need you to beat this guy down,” kind of way, but in a “would something like that be too much information to share,” kind of way. The point of the question is essentially, “Are there some things we should not share within our relationship?”
Confidence is amazing. It can literally be the sexiest thing about a person. Have you ever met someone who feels comfortable in their own skin? You want to be around them. Because they feel good, you feel good. When you have the tools to feel confident, life is just easier. Things don’t get you down. You take setbacks in stride and you navigate the world more effectively. When you don’t feel good about yourself, thinking about how to gain confidence seems so unattainable especially when it comes to body image or dating. Use the following steps to start feeling great:
Mindless consumerism can lead us to believe our value lies in what we wear. I wanted my daughter to have the freedom to divorce her self-worth from her clothing. But how could I teach her that when here I was — 29-years-old, wallowing in a pile of cheap cotton-poly blends and feeling worthless? It was time to go on a clothing fast. I called it "No Pants 2012."
Would you love to find the love of your life online? Are you uncomfortable in your own skin? Do you tell yourself that body type doesn't matter because you'll make a man fall in love with your personality online, and by the time you meet in person, the fact that you're overweight won't matter to him? If so, here's the straight truth.
From a psychological perspective, Downton Abbey demonstrates how times may change, but certain human challenges remain the same.
I was walking to my car the other day and passed by a mother with her child of 2-3 years. They were sitting at a table finishing up what appeared to be their lunch. When I was a few yards away, the child quietly asked the mother for something, to go somewhere. The mother's reply: "If you're good, then we'll do that." She not only said it once, but for some reason (perhaps at the child's insistence) repeated herself a couple more times.
I HATE my thighs. My butt is so big. I am so fat. I am so ugly. I would be attractive if I could just change my nose. How often do these thoughts run through your mind? Why do we do this to ourselves? I cannot tell you how much time I have spent criticizing my body. Analyzing it from every angle, squeezing chunks of flesh and berating myself because I wasn’t perfect. Well, I’m done. I think in some misguided way, those actions were meant to motivate me in some way. It motivated me alright! It motivated me to eat my dissatisfaction.
The first time the possibility was raised that I may have been dealing with a self-esteem issue, I dismissed it. Hey, I had my own successful business, I dated a lot, I owned a condo, had a new car, I was attractive, I worked out…how could all that point to a self- esteem issue? As it turned out, I not only struggled with my self-esteem back then, I couldn’t admit that it was a problem. Sound familiar?
Ask yourself the following questions, and be totally honest with yourself: Does your self-talk sound like "I'm such a mess", or "why am I so insecure?", or other similarly self-deprecating statements? Do you think that someday you will meet a guy who will pull you out of the funk that you're in and make you happy?
