The 5 Most Annoying Issues Couples Face (And Surprisingly Simple Solutions For Each)
These ideas just might save your marriage.
Jacob Lund via Canva We all know marriage is filled with its ups and downs. Amidst the downs are the potential disruptors you can call TIFS — Trivial Issues that Form Strains.
Building slowly, these issues sink their teeth into your marriage, causing chaos and unexpected tension to brew. The consequences of these negative emotions can lead your partner to foster resentment, which can cause irreparable damage.
In a recent Instagram post, psychologist Guy Winch shared a list of five common complaints people have about their partners, along with five gadgets he says could save your marriage. We loved the list so much, we decided to add a few ideas of our own.
5 Annoying Issues Couples Face and Simple Solutions for Each
1. Leaving the toilet seat up
As you get home from a late shift you dash into the bathroom. You have been holding your bladder in hoping you would not need to use the bathroom anytime soon. And as your body makes contact with the chilly rim you realize you have to lower the seat.
"Heart pumping, you lower the seat while plotting revenge on your sleeping husband," writes Winch.
Winch's solution: A motion activated toilet night light with a seat-up reminder
Our solution: A toilet seat lifter
If you are tired of screaming internally about the toilet seat, may we suggest a toilet seat lifter? It's a small device that attaches to the underside of your toilet. This technology uses motion sensors to detect when someone is near, and when nobody is near it lowers the seat automatically.
2. Forgetting social commitments
According to Winch, "In many marriages, one person functions as the social secretary and often, resents it." Resentment doesn’t build from these actions alone, but rather from the continuous need to provide reminders for your partner who can’t seem to remember anything.
Winch's solution: Synced calendars
Our solution: A memory game
If you are looking for a solution, let’s play a game! It's similar to the memory card games we've played growing up. Create two personalized decks of cards with your partner featuring important dates and events. The goal of the game is to match each date with each event.
The loser has to let the winner control Netflix for a whole week!
3. Disagreements while driving
Driving habits vary from person to person, and it’s easy to get mad at your partner for they way they drive when it isn't the way you would.
Winch writes, "Many couples find it hard to get into the car without getting it an argument."
Winch's solution: GPS with traffic alerts, lane advisories, and fuel efficiency routing
Our solution: A (non-binding) driving behavior contract
Well, it’s time to lawyer up and draw up a contract. Just kidding! But the contract method could work!
Try creating a “contractual” agreement with your partner going over rules and expectations when driving.
When you cover expectations such as safety, speed limits, and protocols for handling emergencies, it will make you both feel more safe and secure in the long run.
4. Loud TV watching
There are two types of people in this world — quiet ones who watch TV like a normal person, and loud ones who turn the volume up full blast. And they marry each other.
This noisy disruption can be annoying and even distressing for the quiet partner. Overstimulation and dysregulation from loud noises is a real thing!
Winch's solution: Wireless surround sound headphones
Our solution: Soundproofing
A quick search online will bring up soundproof wall panels, ear-canceling headphones, and even sound-dampening blankets. There are so many options to cancel out the noise of a loud TV (and partner). Sure, you can talk to your partner, but let’s face it, you can’t always escape their screeching. This solution may be best left to the person who craves quiet.
5. Snoring
You’re sleeping next to your partner, dreaming of sunshine and rainbows, when suddenly the bed begins to shake. As you turn to your side, you realize the monstrous noise is coming from your partner's snoring.
In comes the rage as you think to yourself, “Oh great, how am I supposed to sleep now?"
Winch's solution: Industrial strength ear plugs made of beeswax
Our solution: Mouth tape
Thanks to modern technology, there are so many different ways to take care of snoring problems. Mouth tape, a mouthpiece or nasal tape may be just the ticket for some people.
Unlike loud machines, you can pop these on and off with ease, hopefully leading to both you and your partner sleeping soundly.
Winch writes, “What determines their marital satisfaction is not what they argue about but whether they voice their complaints productively.”
But many struggle, myself included, to express complaints without sparking conflict. So, when navigating the challenges of marriage, sometimes you have to adopt new strategies or tools to avoid silly arguments.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.