Wife Upset Husband Is Going On Annual Golf Trip Just 3 Weeks After Welcoming Their New Baby
She can still barely move around due to her C-section recovery.
Photoongraphy, AlohaHawaii / Shutterstock A woman expressed resentment towards her husband after he chose to go on a weekend trip with his friends three weeks after their third baby was born.
The mother pointed out the double standard that exists between men and women when it comes to welcoming a new baby, and how mothers are often expected to take on the bulk of the work while fathers come and go as they please.
The woman claimed that her husband went on a golfing trip with his friends just three weeks after their third child was born.
Sharing her story to the U.K. parenting forum, Mumsnet, the woman revealed that she and her husband recently became parents again for the third time.
After a C-section delivery, she was still struggling with basic tasks around the house and needed her husband’s help. However, he decided that it would be a good time to jet off on a golfing trip with his friends, leaving his healing wife to look after the house and the children.
“Am I right in being upset that he's going?” the woman asked. “It's an annual thing with some friends, but I missed my annual trip with my friends this year due to just having given birth.”
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She went on to say that she was just cleared by her doctor to start doing housework, and her husband was supposed to be picking up the slack, but he failed to do any of it.
“I hate to nag, but the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in a month, the carpet hasn't been vacuumed in weeks, kids' toys and dirty clothes everywhere, etc,” the woman wrote. “It's upsetting because I worked so hard to have everything spotless and up to date before I had the baby and it's all going to rack and ruin now.”
While she claimed that her husband arranged for his mother to take the two older children for part of the trip, she was still worried about being alone with her four-year-old son because she could not lift him up during a tantrum.
“I just feel like leaving your newly postpartum wife after she has just had a major surgery, to play golf is a bit selfish,” the woman wrote, admitting that she had to “grit her teeth” while watching her husband pack for his trip. “I'm so exhausted and sore, and he's swanning off to play golf.”
Even though the woman acknowledged that her family was lucky that her husband could take paternity leave, she argued that he was using it more as a vacation rather than helping out with the house and kids.
Many people came to the woman’s defense, sharing that they, too, would be frustrated with their husbands if they went on a trip immediately after having a baby.
“I’d be furious. I’m sick of men being applauded for doing the bare minimum,” one Mumnsnet user commented. “He’s completely prioritized his own hobby and fun time over the well-being of everyone else,” another user wrote. “Yes it will be okay, yes there is some support but why is it more of a priority to go away?” another user pointed out.
Others believed that the man did not even offer to have his mother take the children to help his wife but to remove any barrier that would keep him from going on the trip.
For those who believe that it is solely the mother’s job to provide childcare and clean the house, think again. It takes two to make children. Most people do not even realize the intense recovery period that comes with a C-section, a major abdominal surgery where seven layers of muscle are cut through.
It is no wonder why so many women struggle to take care of themselves, their newborns, their other children, and the household following the procedure.
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The reality is that even years from now when the children are grown up and do not rely on their parents to take care of them like they used to, the golf course will likely still be there.
If a man truly wants to take on the role of fatherhood, he should put down his clubs and use his hands to tidy up the bathroom, change the baby, and run his wife a hot bath. There is no reason why fathers cannot pick up the slack and take care of their own children.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.