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Study Says Romance Can Last In Long-Term Relationships

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Contrary to popular belief, romance doesn't have to die.
Who says the spark has to fade away over time?

Have you settled for companionship in your would-be romantic relationship? Companionship is when you exist in the same home but spend very little time together, and neither of you is particularly satisfied.

Take the stereotypical man-watching-football-while-his-wife-cleans-the-house scenario. She resents that he gets to relax while she slaves to keep the home clean. She complains about him watching football and not helping around the house. He becomes angry and they either argue or physically go to separate rooms to get away from each other. Does this sound familiar?

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As a licensed mental health counselor, I've heard countless renditions of the scenario above, where wives and husbands are convinced that companionship is as good as it gets for married life. Out of desperation, they ask me for help, and here's what I say.

Research shows that long-term couples who strive for "love with all the trimmings" enjoy more satisfying relationships. It all starts with this first question: Do you want to be more satisfied in your long-term relationship? If your answer is "no, "then stop right here and do not read another word. Keep reading if you would like a more satisfying relationship; it takes awareness and intention to make it happen.

Here are three ways you can foster sparks in your long-term relationship:

1. Ask directly for your needs to be met. Your partner cannot read your mind. Become aware of your emotional and behavioral patterns in the relationship. Those who pursue often have a fear of abandonment; those who avoid often have a fear of being consumed by another person. Those two types often hook up in relationships.

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The pursuer's greatest need is to feel emotionally connected with his/her partner. The avoider's greatest need is to stay away from emotional connection. These are opposing needs. Keep reading ...

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teresa Maples

Counselor/Therapist

Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

If you are a woman who has been betrayed and want to heal and thrive  I want to invite you to my Free Webinar.

My passion is to encourage, nurture,and validate people, deepening their most important relationships to Live Life Abundantly!

Reserve my seat now for the amazing webinar, "Surviving to Thriving" Help for women after discovering your partner has cheated.

 

Location: Gig Harbor, WA
Credentials: CMAT, CSAT, LMHC
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
Other Articles/News by Teresa Maples:

5 Things 'Awkward' Teaches About Cheaters & Why They Blame You

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On the successful MTV show Awkward, Jenna and Matty were the perfect couple — until Jenna messed it up by cheating and not taking responsibility for her actions.  The show is so compelling that I watched all three seasons in one week. It helps that I am a serious student of human nature and found the characters similar to what you ... Read more

Taking Back Your Sexuality After Trauma Or Abuse

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If you suffered from childhood sexual abuse you probably land in one of two camps; those who have nightmares and avoid sexual experiences out of fear, and those that repeat the pattern of sexual trauma, justifying it in the name of freedom. Both behaviors are problematic and can deprive you of a fulfilling life. Even though you were abused as a child, it ... Read more

Radio Show: Healing After Betrayal

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Carol the Coach interviewed Teresa Maples on March 3, 2014 on the topic of Partners of Cheaters. If you are interested click here and you can listen to the interview in its entirety. Teresa talked about her upcoming webinar and how she can help women who want healing after being betrayed by their partners. Many partners feel like they are going crazy and ... Read more

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