How Do You Know if He's Still Cheating?


How Do You Know if He's Still Cheating?


A woman sat in my office today and asked me this question. "How do I know if he's really stopped his affair?" she asked. "I mean, is it really ever over? What if the affair was with someone at work? He husband still sees her every day." She sat in her chair and looked at me, desperate for answers. "He says its over, and that he wants to work on our relationship. But he sees her all the time and right now he cant just quit his job." Her question is legitimate. What if your partner cheats and then has to see that person, every day sometimes, even after the affair is over? Can a couple really work on their relationship and renew their commitment to each other after infidelity? Is the affair ever really over? I told my client, gently, "Your question really implies that you are wondering if just seeing this other person every day would cause your partner to start cheating again." She nodded, and bit her lip. That made sense to me. Many affairs do happen, not because a relationship is not working, or even because couples tire of each other, but because of opportunity. According to some experts, when the opportunity to have an affair presents itself, upwards of 80% of people may find it hard to refuse the offer. "The temptation might be greater to cheat again with this other woman," I said.


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Tammy Nelson


Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC email me at

Location: Ridgefield, CT
Credentials: LPC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy
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