The REAL secrets to preventing cheating and divorce.
New mom Eva Mendes recently quipped that the secret to a happy marriage is all about sweatpants—NOT wearing them. In an interview, when asked about keeping her partner Ryan Gosling from straying, she offered this advice. "You can't do sweatpants. Ladies, number one cause of divorce in America—sweatpants. No!"
Is what you wear really that big of a deal? Could it kill your marriage or cause your partner to cheat if your wardrobe is mainly oh-so-comfortable fleece? Let's look at this a little bit more closely.
There are some serious limitations to the advice Mendes gave to women. When a couple breaks up, it is never ONLY about what a woman (or a man) wears. Hopefully, Mendes understands this too!
Clothing choices—whether they're loose and baggy or form-fitting and low-cut—truly are a surface issue. If you restrict your concern to whether or not you're regularly wearing sweatpants (or the sexiest, most flattering article of clothing in your closet), you miss so much of the picture.
Preventing infidelity and divorce isn't about what you put on when you get out of the shower, it's about a whole host of other habits. It's about...
- How you usually talk to your partner.
- How you usually think about your partner.
- What you tell yourself about yourself.
- Whether or not you keep your word.
- Whether or not you make connecting with your partner a real priority.
To keep your marriage or love relationship on track, happy and close, you've got to look at far more than what you wear.
But, the sweatpants question is still an important one and it's possibly what Mendes was really referring to. Sweatpants are fabulous for taking a run or working out at the gym. They're also great for lounging around the house on a lazy Saturday morning. There are even dressier styles of sweatpants that people wear to run errands.
Sweatpants can also be a signal for you to pay attention to. For some people, a "sweatpants habit" can coincide with low self-esteem, feelings of shame about their body or shame in general, and even depression. Sometimes (NOT all of the time), when sweatpants are the usual wardrobe choice for a person, it's because she or he has emotionally withdrawn in some way.
When looked at in a larger context, sweatpants is sometimes a helpful indicator to see that something is off-balance and needs attention, but sweatpants themselves are NOT the cause of relationship problems.
4 ways to prevent divorce and breakup that actually work:
1. Nurture Self-Respect And Self-Love.
Keeping your relationship happy, healthy and long-lasting starts with you and how you treat yourself. If you constantly put yourself down, compare yourself with others, and act as if you are worthless, that will take a toll on your relationship.
With your own behavior (and your own thoughts), be sure to send out the message that you are a valuable, attractive and lovable human being!
2. Set Aside Regular Time To Connect.
Distance is possibly the biggest relationship killer there is, and it forms quicker than you think. When you become all caught up in the busyness of life and you don't make the time to really connect with the one you love, this will make misunderstandings, disagreements and emotional distance more likely.
Make your relationship a true priority! It's as simple as talking without distraction (at least) once a day.
3. Communicate About The "Elephant In The Room."
Whether it's his or her flirting or "wandering eye," your jealousy or the very different ways the two of you handle money, what's that one topic you avoid whenever you can ... that's still there causing tension in your relationship?
It's time to talk with your partner about whatever the "elephant in the room" is for the two of you. Before you sit down together, think about how you can speak your truth without putting your partner on the defensive or causing him or her to feel under attack.
4. Cultivate More Appreciation.
Wear sweatpants if you choose to, but be sure you've got your eyes wide open so that you can really gauge the health of your relationship with yourself and your relationship with your partner. Make sure that whenever you recognize something you feel genuine appreciation about, you spend a few moments there. Feel the warm and expansive feelings and speak about them with your partner.
Appreciation won't erase the challenges that you might be facing as a couple, but it will show you the bigger picture. It can also help you reconnect when struggles come up and give you a strong foundation to build upon.
Whether you’re a new mom, a woman over 50 trying to re-kindle relationship passion, or a woman or man somewhere in between, it doesn’t have to be difficult to create and sustain a happy relationship! Get doable ideas for how to have Passionate Spark~Lasting Love in this free ebook.