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Top 10 Things People Do Wrong When Looking for a Date

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Top 10 Things People Do Wrong When Looking for a Date
Frustrated trying to find a date or relationship? Here's where you may be making mistakes...

“They don't even see me!”
“I repel good-looking women!”
“I'm just not in the same league with the guys I'm interested in!”

Finding a date can be rough.

More from YourTango: Is There a Cure for His Wandering Eye?

You try to look your best and act in way that will attract the right kind of attention from the right kind of person, but it isn't working. After several failed attempts, it may seem to you that the people you'd like to date aren't interested in you and never will be.

It might even feel like nobody wants to date you.

This can amount to a lot of loneliness and frustration.

You may be asking yourself, “What am I doing wrong?!”

The truth is, there could actually be some things that you're doing that are turning off others. If you're having a tough time getting dates or your perfect relationship hasn't yet come your way, it's possible that some of your habits are part of the problem.

When you discover the ways that you prevent love from coming you, then you have the power to make changes. It's uncomfortable to acknowledge this. Many of us look at everyone but ourselves and any external situation or condition as the reason why we're not having the experiences we want to have.

While there are certain things you can't change-- like your height or the opinions of others-- there's a whole lot that you DO have power over. Be honest with yourself about what your habits are and then invite yourself to try something different instead.

Here are the top 10 mistakes you might be making when trying to get a date...

#1: Assume the worst of yourself.
If you're insecure or have low self esteem, it will show. When you expect that the hot guy by the bar doesn't even know you're alive, chances are that's what will happen. When you believe that you mess up every encounter you have with interesting women, this will be your reality.

STOP and catch yourself when you think and expect the worst.

#2: Assume the worst in others.
Do you carry painful past experiences along with you? Do you anticipate being treated in a certain way by a person just because he or she is attractive, has tattoos, works a particular job or just because he is a man or she is woman?

STOP! Remind yourself to greet each person you meet as fresh and new. Base your decision about whether or not to spend time with someone on facts and not on your assumptions.

#3: Pretend to be something that you're not.
Another kind of assumption you might make is about what you think is attractive to others. You may believe that you have to lead a certain lifestyle, wear certain clothes or speak and treat others in a certain way in order to get a date and/or a relationship.

More from YourTango: 5 Insights Soulmates Need to Know

If you're pretending to be something that you're not, this will backfire. Everytime.

Be proudly who you are instead of trying to imitate what you think is attractive.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie And Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.

Visit http://www.relationshipgold.com to get their free ebook: Passionate Spark- Lasting Love as well as access to free articles and resources to help you improve your love relationship or marriage.

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie and Otto Collins:

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