ProConnect

Say YES to Your Marriage

By

Say YES to Your Marriage
Relationship survival tips for over-committed and busy couples.

Are you a constant YES person? That could be a reason why your marriage may be failing.

Being agreeable, cooperative and helpful are admirable qualities. Who doesn't appreciate it when another person steps up and lends a hand? Most of us try to be that kind of person, and so we say "yes" to most everything we're asked to do.

More from YourTango: 4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

Maybe you do this too:

  • Your boss approaches you at 5 minutes until 5 PM with a huge folder of paperwork and a desperate look in her eye. You say, "YES, I'll stay late and take care of that."
  • Your buddy got in over his head on a DIY home repair project and asks you to lend a hand. You've been in a similar spot before, so you say, "YES, I'll be right over."
  • Nobody has volunteered to organize the annual carnival at your kid's school. The principal calls to see if you'll take this on and you say, "YES, I will."

These YES moments add to what you've already got going on. They pile on top of your already extra long to-do list, but you don't want to let anyone down. There's only so much of you to go around so you shuffle your activities and plans to make room for these new commitments.

What usually happens now? You unintentionally shuffle your marriage's needs straight to the bottom of the list. You assume your spouse will understand and will be there when things settle down. Your partner probably does understand because the same thing may be going on in their life as well. 

The trouble is, things never completely settle down because your always saying "YES" to everything except your relationship.

In the meantime, you and your partner only go on date nights sporadically (if at all) and when you do have a spare moment, you're both so exhausted, overloaded and fried, the best you can do is to stare numbly at the TV together.

This cannot sustain if your marriage is going to thrive.

When you don't make your relationship a top priority, it's going to suffer—and you'll suffer along with it. As a couple, you're more likely to encounter misunderstandings, unresolvable arguments, jealousy, dwindling intimacy and maybe even separation or divorce.

You've made your relationship just about the least important thing in your life and this can feel like rejection to your partner (even if he or she is just as busy as you are).

More from YourTango: 4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

You've got career goals, personal interests and a desire to be of service to your friends, family and your community, but we encourage you to ask yourself if having a healthy, happy and close marriage is also a priority for you. Be honest with yourself. If it is, then it's time to start saying "YES" to your marriage. Keep reading...

Here's how to begin:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

By

If you've ever asked yourself the question: "Was it something I said?" chances are, it was. Communication with your spouse or partner can be a tricky business. You may have the best intentions and only want your beloved to move closer to you, but the way you choose to tell your truth and say whatever is on your mind can unintentionally cause ... Read more

4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

By

This year’s NCAA basketball tournament is nearing its exciting finish. If you’ve been following your favorite team to see who’s best at college basketball and hoping your bracket picks survive and win, you’ve probably been watching a lot of hoops. You’ve probably noticed something about these adrenaline-rush games... There ... Read more

How Pushy Is TOO Pushy?

By

Without a doubt, one of the most infuriating things in a relationship is when your guy gets quiet and won’t talk. You know he had a bad day and he refuses to talk about it. His response is, “I’m fine,” when you ask. Or you’re sure he’s angry because of something you did, but he won’t talk about it. You can almost ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
shame

How to Get Over Your Stinkin' Thinkin'

Recognize "Stinkin Thinkin" that leads to depression and turn it into positive action and success.

valentines-flowers-surprise

Why Breakups Hurt

Breakups hurt us even when there is no love lost.

Brain

Why Do Men Hide Their Emotions?

The emotional processing in the male and female brain is not the same....

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS