Say YES to Your Marriage

By

Say YES to Your Marriage
Relationship survival tips for over-committed and busy couples.

Are you a constant YES person? That could be a reason why your marriage may be failing.

Being agreeable, cooperative and helpful are admirable qualities. Who doesn't appreciate it when another person steps up and lends a hand? Most of us try to be that kind of person, and so we say "yes" to most everything we're asked to do.

 

Maybe you do this too:

  • Your boss approaches you at 5 minutes until 5 PM with a huge folder of paperwork and a desperate look in her eye. You say, "YES, I'll stay late and take care of that."
  • Your buddy got in over his head on a DIY home repair project and asks you to lend a hand. You've been in a similar spot before, so you say, "YES, I'll be right over."
  • Nobody has volunteered to organize the annual carnival at your kid's school. The principal calls to see if you'll take this on and you say, "YES, I will."

These YES moments add to what you've already got going on. They pile on top of your already extra long to-do list, but you don't want to let anyone down. There's only so much of you to go around so you shuffle your activities and plans to make room for these new commitments.

What usually happens now? You unintentionally shuffle your marriage's needs straight to the bottom of the list. You assume your spouse will understand and will be there when things settle down. Your partner probably does understand because the same thing may be going on in their life as well. 

The trouble is, things never completely settle down because your always saying "YES" to everything except your relationship.

In the meantime, you and your partner only go on date nights sporadically (if at all) and when you do have a spare moment, you're both so exhausted, overloaded and fried, the best you can do is to stare numbly at the TV together.

This cannot sustain if your marriage is going to thrive.

When you don't make your relationship a top priority, it's going to suffer—and you'll suffer along with it. As a couple, you're more likely to encounter misunderstandings, unresolvable arguments, jealousy, dwindling intimacy and maybe even separation or divorce.

You've made your relationship just about the least important thing in your life and this can feel like rejection to your partner (even if he or she is just as busy as you are).

You've got career goals, personal interests and a desire to be of service to your friends, family and your community, but we encourage you to ask yourself if having a healthy, happy and close marriage is also a priority for you. Be honest with yourself. If it is, then it's time to start saying "YES" to your marriage. Keep reading...

Here's how to begin:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

Old Crimes That Never Die

By

Kevin wishes that he could just get over it.  His wife, Linda, had a brief affair with a co-worker 3 years ago. When he found out about the affair just after it happened, Kevin was devastated.  He wasn't sure that he could even look at Linda again, let alone remain married to her.  So much has changed since that time. Kevin ... Read more

“Sweatpants Killed My Marriage!”

By

New mom, Eva Mendes recently quipped that the secret to a happy marriage is all about sweatpants-- NOT wearing them. In an interview, when asked about keeping her partner Ryan Gosling from straying, she offered this advice: “You can’t do sweatpants… ladies, number one cause of divorce in America, sweatpants, no!” Is what you wear ... Read more

4 Ways To Save Your Relationship With Honesty

By

Ellen considers herself to be an honest person. She always tries to do the right thing and to live in a way that would make her mother proud. She carries this conviction to interactions with her husband too. Although she knows many of her co-workers flirt and even cheat in their relationships, she's sure she'd NEVER cause such damage to her ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular