Jessica can't deny it anymore. She's tried to pretend that her marriage to Doug is just fine. She's held out hope that the prickly dynamics between she and Doug would soon pass.
After their most recent argument, Jessica stopped pretending. For the first time in a long while, she could fully see-- and feel-- how far apart she and Doug have become. She has been asking friends and searching online for referrals for a coach that she and Doug could work with and maybe save their marriage...before it ends in divorce.
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She hopes it isn't too late.
When divorce happens, it sometimes comes as a sort of emotional explosion. The end of the relationship may even be precipitated by abuse or violence. For other couples, it comes at the culmination of long periods of icy silence and neglect.
Divorce might come as a huge surprise that shocks or it may be expected.
If you can see the signs that you and your spouse are possibly headed for divorce, there may still be time to save your marriage. You can take steps to identify what's tearing you apart and begin to make some meaningful changes.
Be on the lookout for these potential divorce-indicators...
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#1: Your usual mode of conversation is yelling and screaming.
If yelling, screaming and calling one another names is how most conversations end up, know that this will not foster love, trust and respect. These are essential to a healthy marriage.
#2: The “silent treatment” is an almost daily occurrence.
Motivation for remaining silent may be fear of upsetting the other person or it could be a desire to “punish” by not speaking or responding. The “silent treatment” is a direct route to resentment and more anger so be aware of this deadly marriage killer.
#3: You've stopped caring about whether or not your relationship will improve.
Regardless of whether you've tried “everything” or you have reached your frustration limit, if you hear yourself saying and thinking that you just don't care anymore, this could be a bad sign for your relationship.
#4: You see your partner as a roommate or co-parent, but not a lover.
Maybe there is no animosity and no conflict between you and your partner, but there's also no passion either. Plenty of couples stay together and are even somewhat content in a passionless marriage. The question is whether or not you and your spouse are willing to lead this kind of life together.
#5: Cheating looks more and more appealing.
When it's emotionally painful at home, you may start to play the “What if?” game in your mind. Looking at your co-worker, neighbor or somebody in the coffee shop, your thoughts stray more and more often to, “What if I got what's missing from that person?” or “What if my needs could be met by him (or her) ?”