Let Your Mate Pick The Plan! [EXPERT]

This one requires some stretching on your part. Today's couple building exercise is to focus on your mate's happiness by asking what they'd like to do on your next day off together. Don't let them get away with turning it back on you, or trying to accommodate you. Persist in encouraging your sweetie to pick the itinerary for an entire day.

Here are some examples of how to draw your lover out:

• I really mean it! What have you been wishing we could do together?
• I'd like to spend time with you doing something you love. It's been too long since I've seen you really cut loose.
• C'mon, sweetie! I really want to see you relax and enjoy yourself for a whole day. What would you like to do?
• I'll pick the plan another time. This time I want to focus on doing what you love.

Once they pick the day's events, try to carry out the plan on your very next day off together! Focus on spending the whole day without complaining about anything or putting out negative emotional energy. Create as many fun, positive interactions during the day as possible. Pay attention to what happens to your partner's energy level and mood as the day progresses. Let yourself be reminded of just how important your actions and attitudes are.

Most important of all, don't ask for a day in return! One of the characteristics necessary for a long-term happy relationship is the ability to put your spouse's needs ahead of your own. It shouldn't be a one-way street, with one doing all the giving. There should be a healthy balance of give and take that each feels good about.

Make it your ambition to be on the giving end for your next day off together. Who knows? It could lead to a very good night together!

Related articles

Lovers: Get a Clue! (smartrelationships.org)
#7: Watch one of my sweetie's broomball games (smilekiddo.wordpress.com)