Does He Really Love You? Does It Matter?


Which is more important, the depth and intensity of his love for you or his good character?

How much time do you spend trying to figure out whether he really, really loves you?

However much, it is too much.

Even if our greatest scientists got together and fashioned a foolproof emotional thermometer, one that would tell you exactly how much he loves you, it would still not answer the real questions.

Like: will he marry you? Will he honor his commitment to you? Will he be loyal to you for better or for worse?

If you want to answer these questions, stop worrying about how intensely he loves you. Start asking yourself if he has good character.

A man who is madly in love will provide you with any one of a number of spontaneous thrills, but when push comes to shove, when the time comes to hunker down and domesticate and socialize that love, he will not be there for you.

Let’s assume that your man loves you. The only thing is: he loves you in his way not your way.

He does not need to be crazy about you, madly in love with you, and consumed with passion. He has to be trustworthy, reliable, responsible, and loyal.

You do not approach relationships the same way. You could not marry a man you did not really love. You may not love him to the point of insanity, but you will spend a considerable amount of time deciphering your own feelings. Is it love or lust or infatuation?

Sorry to have to break it to you, but he won’t be wondering about how deeply he loves you.

Whether he stays or goes does not depend on the intensity of his passion. It depends on his character and his ability to honor commitments. For you true love is where you live. For him, it is not. If you press the point, he will not know how to respond. You will take it personally and believe that he doesn’t love you.

You would be wrong. You were just knocking on the wrong door.

A man does not identify himself in a relationship as one who is giving love. He might see himself as your protector and provider; he might see himself as “the dude.” If all he can give you is love, he will feel that he is derelict in his more manly duties.

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