In the wake of the Kris and Bruce Jenner split, some people are surprised... but many of us are not. While we can't be sure of exactly what caused the split, it is obvious that Kris took her career as "momager" and reality star pretty seriously. On their show, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kris is portrayed to be in an almost constant state of work. Even when at home, she's always seen taking work-related calls.
It wouldn't be surprising if it was Kris' career that took a toll on her marriage; it's difficult to nurture a healthy relationship if you're in exclusively love with your job. This leads us to ask: what are the costs of putting a career over a relationship... and how do you prevent it from pushing your relationship apart?
In order to balance out your work and love life, you need to be realistic about your habits.
- You've heard it before, relationships are about compromises. You do not have to give up the happiness and fulfillment your career brings, but do devote some of that passion into your love life as well. Both your love life and career will thrive if you create the ideal balance between the two.
- Pay close attention to the ways you may be neglecting your relationships for work. Would it be more beneficial to put off that call in order to go on a walk with your partner? You may not realize how much your work life is interfering with your love life, especially since we all seem to be "on call" 24/7, with our cell phones following our every move.
- Ask your partner to tell you when they feel you are neglecting them. If you have someone point out specific instances, you will be able to correct the behavior and ask for your needs to be met as well.
There is nothing wrong with being career driven. In fact, many people find that attractive. It shows you have ambition, and that you know what you want out of life. A problem occurs when you put so much effort into your work that it takes away from the amount of effort you are able to put into your relationship.
Here are some tips to minimize this:
- Take time each day to ask your partner how they their day was. Turn all phones and electronics OFF. An ideal time to do this is over dinner. Making this a habit will help you feel connected.
- Send a text, email or old fashioned phone call during your day. Even if you are having a super busy day at work, you still have time to send a quick message that lets them know you are thinking of them. Your work doesn't love you in the way your partner does: make sure to love your partner back.
- When you're spending time with your significant other, make sure you are paying attention to them. If you go on a vacation, make sure to really unplug. Don't let work distract you by constantly checking your email. The time spent together will be more meaningful and you'll connect on a deeper level without the distractions.
At the end of the day, imagine your life without your partner: how would you feel if, like Kris and Bruce, you had to part ways with your spouse? Trying to find someone new who loves you unconditionally, flaws and all, is hard work — sometimes harder than a job.
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