Financial Infidelity: The Downfall Of Too Many Marriages

By

pocket hide cash man suit
Plus: five classic mistakes that trigger financial dishonesty.

Chet was a nice guy — hard worker, hard player. He married "always sunny" Tallia. They were a great pair. Tallia was everything Chet thought a wife would be: adoring, pretty, helpful and chatty. Maybe chatty isn't the best word, he thought, but my buddies were right — women love to talk. Most days he was happy to let her have the last word (and all the others in-between), but when it came to handling their money, he felt it was his job, and she didn't need to be bothered.

Chet liked fiddling with his '67 Mustang named Max. He was good with his hands, enjoyed the solace of the garage and saw potential profits from his labor. Perhaps he'd even buy Tallia her dream house with the profits from the eventual sale of the car.

 

Money was tight, so he didn't tell her about all of the expenses associated with the car. He convinced himself he was completely comfortable with the years it was taking to fix up and sell Max, the setbacks he'd encountered and the growing pile of bills. He thought a credit card would be a good way to "float" the expenses until the car sold. He didn't worry Tallia with the news.

Then, Chet was away one weekend when his super-charged credit card bill arrived. When he returned home, he had a $21,000 fight on his hands and the sudden need for new luggage. Tallia figured, If he was lying about something this huge, what else is he lying about?

Chet's "I got this" attitude led him to be dishonest with his spouse about money. It started with small amounts and even good intentions. But, he forgot his companion was riding shotgun, and that dishonesty is a form of "financial infidelity" — the act of lying about, hiding or secretly hoarding money in a relationship. Most relationships have financial infidelity in varying degrees, whether it's telling your honey you paid forty bucks for your new shoes when you really spent double that, stockpiling cash without their knowledge or opening secret accounts — even with good intentions. Keep reading ...

More marriage advice from YourTango:

What's at stake is not the money — it's our relationships. Whether it is small sums or massive amounts, financial infidelity is a relationship killer. More than 70 percent of divorced couples in America cite "money" as the number one cause of their split. Money affects every day of our lives, and how we view money shapes our decisions and how we handle it. Add another person's views on money to the equation and we've got a hot-rod headed for a crash.

Understanding and communication is key but certain situations create an especially fertile environment for financial infidelity. Steer clear of these five, main triggers for financial infidelity:

Article contributed by

Scott And Bethany Palmer The Money Couple

YourTango Expert Partner

The Money Couple, Scott & Bethany Palmer are parents, finance experts, authors, and regulars on national TV and radio. With 40 years of combined financial planning experience they launched The Money Couple to help couples and families improve their relationships with love and money. Scott and Bethany enjoy an active lifestyle living in Colorado with their two sons, Cole and Cade. Pre-order their NEW BOOK, The 5 Money Conversations To Have With Your Kids At Every Age and Every Stage

Take the FREE Money Personality Assessment!

Sign up to Raise Money Smart Kids with Scott & Bethany's new FREE video series

Learn more about The Money Couple's video series Raising Money Smart Kids

Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Scott and Bethany Palmer The Money Couple:

4 Ways To Teach Your Kids Credit Savvy Money Skills

By

My son Cade and I were shopping the other day when he asked me to purchase something for him. I told him, "Sorry, bud. We can't afford it." His reply hit me like a brick in the head: "C'mon, Dad, don't worry about having the money today, just put it on a credit card!" Holy sh*t, I thought to myself. I've been a ... Read more

Do Your Kids Have A Bad Case Of The Gimmies? 3 Ways To Cure Them

By

Forget cold and flu season. This time of year, kids come down with a bad case of the "gimmes." With all the new toys, new technology, and mega sales, wanting more is pretty contagious, but the "gimmes" aren't fatal. You can help your child, and your entire family with these parenting tips that encourage a spirit of thankfulness ... Read more

5 Signs Your Child Might Be An Entitled Brat (Thanks To You)

By

Once upon a time, parents feared their children wouldn't have enough. Now we fear our kids have way too much. You want to give your child every advantage you never had, but where is the line between investing in their growth and happiness and raising an entitled brat?  The main difference is noted in their attitude. A "spoiled" ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular