By Rori Raye
Has a man ever told you that you’re a great friend, but he isn’t feeling romantic about you? If so, it may be because you’re doing a great job connecting with a man’s head and intellect, but doing nothing to trigger passion in his heart. You’re afraid to let your guard down and show your true feelings because you don’t want to be hurt again. But this fear is keeping you from emotionally connecting with a man.
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Instead, take these three steps:
Step 1: Stop analyzing and obsessing.
Women believe the lie that men fear displays of emotion. Actually, what men can’t stand is “drama,” but they fall to their knees in adoration for a woman who can feel something and communicate it in a non-judgmental, non-critical and vulnerable way.
Allow yourself to feel every emotion, even if it’s not interesting or pleasant. When you stop analyzing why and just feel, you’ll feel more fully yourself, more alive, and therefore you’ll automatically be more attractive to every man.
Step 2: Get out of your head and into your feelings.
What are your conversations with a man like?
If you’re in your head, you are probably expressing a lot of opinions and facts about things. That’s not very romantic. Opinions are good for an occasional lively discussion with friends, but they don’t do anything to inspire him to love you.
Instead, notice how you feel about things throughout your day. Whenever you catch yourself lost in your thoughts, to-do lists or opinions, take yourself back to how you feel in the moment.
Step 3: Communicate using the phrase “I feel,” not “I think…”
Speak from your feelings. Start sentences with “I feel” instead of “I think.” This may seem odd at first. You may be afraid that if you do this a man will think you’re silly or too emotional or that you’ll scare him off. Actually, the exact opposite is true.
The more you’re able to share your emotions in a man’s presence without going into drama and telling him what’s wrong with him, the closer he’s going to want to get to you.
The best way to help a man connect to his tender, emotional side is by knowing how you feel and being able to clearly and honestly communicate it to him.
When you start connecting with his heart this way, he’ll be more affectionate and loving with you. He may even start sharing what he feels with you.
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Taking these steps changed my marriage nearly overnight. Even now, whenever I spend too much time discussing things instead of feeling juicy and romantic, I remind myself to do these three things and everything shifts like magic.
You can find out more about how to do what works to make a man fall in love with you and avoid doing the things that actually push a man away by signing up for Rori Raye’s free newsletters here.