How we act in our relationships is just as important as the things we say. Besides, "love" is an action word; that means that we'd better walk the walk in addition to talking the talk! Here are two key behaviors for healthy, loving partnerships from a relationship expert that you can pursue every day with your mate. Put a little effort into cultivating your connection, and watch it transform into a strong bond.
1. Understanding Your Communication Styles:
Picture this scenario: you and your partner are discussing a problem between the two of you. At first, you both try to talk nicely and listen to each other, but soon you notice your partner starting to shut down. You feel ignored or think he doesn't care, so you become agitated. It shows in your tone of voice and body language. He becomes frustrated, clams up and tries to walk away. You get angry, start yelling, follow after him and before you know it, a fight ensues ... sound familiar?
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It is very likely the issue here is not an inability to resolve a problem, but rather the difference in how you prefer to communicate.
Maybe you're the kind of person who wants to talk it out. You're prepared to stick with it, get everything said and out in the open, and want to come to some type of resolution. He, however, is the type of person who likes to hear what you have to say before offering a few counter points and going away to mull things over. Maybe he needs time to decide what he thinks and feels, coming back later to continue the discussion or resolve the problem.
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Only once you understand your individual communication styles can you develop a plan for how you will approach problems in the future. Perhaps you agree you will spend five minutes getting your point across and your partner agrees to come back in fifteen minutes to talk about it further. If you're noticing constant conflict between the two of you, work toward identifying how you communicate and attempt to compromise between your methods. Keep reading...
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