If you're like most parents, you're wondering: WTF happened to my relationship with my spouse?!?! We used to have fun, laugh, act like teammates, and have lots of great sex. Okay, fine, some of us just had good sex, but where did that go? Weren’t kids supposed to bring us closer? We spend so much time taking care of our children, in my case a 6 yo and 2 yo, that when we come up for air, there’s no time left for ourselves, never mind our relationships. We’re unhappy,fighting and disconnected.
I work with parents because someone needs to prioritize our fulfillment and offer a solution for parents to stay sane and stay together. Couple-time and alone-time plummet when we have kids, so finding easy and efficient ways to reconnect isn't just important, it's a survival tactic. Why bother? If you're facing serious relationship challenges, perhaps it's time to move on. But beware: We often drag our baggage with us. Plus, if we're not committed to modeling relationship happiness, how will kids learn how to get through the tough times that plague even the best relationships?
The couples I work with rekindle the love that first brought them together; reignite intimacy; and discover teamwork that makes parenting a joy. Plus, they cultivate healthier relationships with themselves, which is key to every other kinds of relationship satisfaction. Remember that airline safety message about putting the mask on yourself first? It applies just as readily to our relationships with spouses as kids; ultimately, most of us suck at caring for others if we fail to take care of ourselves.
So how can we improve our relationships when parenting takes so much time? By recognizing that improving your relationship is a parenting strategy. Research shows that effective co-parenting and relationship happiness improve our kids’ developmental wellbeing.
Tired of feeling the strain of your relationship and parenting? Ready for relationship fulfillment? Email Rhona@ParentAlliance.com for your FREE individual or couples 30-minute strategy session.
Here are some of my professional details: I'm on the Advisory Board and lead workshops for The Children's Project, a non-profit devoted to helping parents, teachers and communities raise emotionally healthy kids. I'm trained as a Certified Individual Coach by The Coaches Training Institute, as a Relationship Coach by the Center for Right Relationship, and I'm accredited by the International Coach Federation.
The Reason I Became A Helping Professional
I've always loved helping others. As a kid, I lent a supportive ear to friends. Now, I coach parents, and the professionals who support them, e.g., teachers, perinatal professionals, achieve greater fulfillment and learn new tools for positive communication, productive conflict and self-care. While I spend a lot of time with clients helping them improve their relationships with others, I spend as much time helping them improve their relationships with themselves. Funny thing is, the more we improve our relationship with ourselves, the more our relationships with others thrive.
Articles by Rhona Berens
Shortly after my ex-husband and I separated, we attended a communication workshop headed by Rhona Berens. We have 2 small children and we knew we needed help in order to have an effective co-parenting relationship. While we always knew communication was important, we didn’t realize HOW we communicate was just as important. What we learned in Rhona’s workshop has helped us to better communicate with each other without anger. As a result, it has not only helped our co-parenting relationship, but our friendship. Our marriage may have ended, but our friendship continues, as does our family bond.
– Stacy Oliver, Los Angeles, CA
This program gave us a chance to get clarity prior to being sleep deprived and stressed by the changes that are associated with having a newborn. You are a great coach. We loved how animated you are and were impressed by your ability to really listen to us beyond our words. We found this program fun and therapeutic for us as a couple. Parent Alliance® is a platform to help visualize, create and actualize the future you envision for yourself as an individual, a couple and as parents and a program to help unify and clarify parents' goals and values prior to embarking upon the life changing experience of bringing their new baby into the world. The importance of working out potential differences and getting aligned as a couple prior to the arrival of the baby is also a huge selling point.
- Rachel and Greg, San Francisco, California
We had the great pleasure of having Rhona Berens speak at one of our Parent Workshops. The 2 hour workshop provided parents and staff with amazing tools to foster our relationships in conversations and during conflict not only with our partners but with our kids. Being a parent of three, I know how hard it is to take the time to communicate with my husband effectively but after the workshop I used the tools she suggested and was able to notice a huge difference right away. Rhona’s presentation was fun, interactive and parents were out of their seats role playing in each of her fostering ideas. Rhona created a safe environment which allowed parents to release emotion and frustration and help breakthroughs occur. Parents came back the next day saying that they have already started implementing the practices learned. We would love to continue to work with Rhona to learn more about her tools for communication.
- Renae Plant, Director, Camelot Kids Child Development Center, Los Feliz, California
We have been very fortunate to have Rhona as our relationship coach. She is very insightful, intelligent and passionate. She was able to help us recognize relationship toxins that were sabotaging our relationship. Most importantly, Rhona creates a comfortable and safe environment for couples. She was there for both of us, never taking sides or making judgments; helping us understand the other person's point of view. It is very hard to say in a few words the positive impact her coaching has brought to our lives. Now, months later, we still see the positive impact of her coaching. Thanks, Rhona!
- Monica and Will, Vancouver, Washington
|Main Specialty||Communication Problems|
|Credentials||ACC, CPCC, PhD|
|Time in Practice||3-5 years|
|I practice in||All areas, please inquire|
Personal Development Coach
|I offer my services||At my office|
Willing To Meet in Public Locations like Starbucks (please inquire)
|I am fluent in||English|