Keep the heat of your summer passion burning all year long.
The movies have romanticized summer love for decades while giving it an expiration date. Now isn't that an oxymoron? Here's your greatest love of all, but guess what? It's going to end.
And let's keep it real. We are not in the movies. Summer love looks more like summer hookups nowadays. The only difference from winter hookup is that you may actually make it outside with them instead of just chillin' and watching Netflix.
So what happens when you meet someone you actually like during summer? If you want to turn it into the real thing, you absolutely can. I'm not one to give anyone false hope. Your summer hookup may very well just be that, but let's figure that out together.
Think about how you two spend time together.
Are you going out on dates? Are you only hanging out in groups? Do you see each other during the day?
Here's the key question: are you spending real, quality time together or is it just casual and physical?
Communication is key, and is a telltale sign of your relationship status.
Do you actually talk? Or do you just take each other's clothes off? Do you communicate outside of seeing each other or making plans to see each other? Do you confide in one another?
The key pattern you're looking to see is if your communication goes beyond the logistics of hookup.
When you think about your daily priorities, does it include your summer love?
Do you follow through on word to each other? Is there even a word to keep? Are you seeing each other on a regular basis or just sometimes if time permits? Have you gone out of each other's way to interact with one another?
If you're spending quality time together, communicating on a deeper level and are a priority for each other you can move on to the next part (or read my FREE eBook Is He Relationship Material? for deeper insight).
Here's how to turn your summer hookup into the real thing:
1. Always be honest with the one you're after.
If you've decided that you want more, then it's time for some honesty between you and your summer love. We all dread the "what are we doing?" talk, but it has to happen so that you’re both on the same page.
2. If you don't see eye-to-eye, you need to set some boundaries.
If it turns out that they're not on the same page as you, you have to walk away and set boundaries. Trying to pretend like you don't feel what you feel will only hurt you more when you finally decide to walk away.
A lot of us think that we can change their mind. Maybe if we show them just how great we are they'll come around. Truth is, you can't change someone into being ready. They'll only be ready, when they're ready.
3. Take a proactive approach.
If they've reciprocated your feelings and want to continue to explore a relationship with you, be proactive in keeping the relationship on course. Set actual dates regularly (and into the fall), communicate about things that are important to you and take steps to progress the relationship forward.
Being honest, setting your boundaries and being proactive really does work. My relationship is proof. We met the first week of June and by Labor Day Weekend we were falling for each other.
Your summertime love, fling or hookup doesn’t have to fall apart.
This article was originally published at LoveLifeTBD.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.