Why Men Are Settling For Mrs. Good Enough

to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchKimberly SeltzerDr. Erica  GoodstoneJennifer Chappell Marsh MFT Intern #65184
ProConnect

Ten Inconvenient Truths About Love

By . Posted on .

Ten Inconvenient Truths About Love
Read these ten truths about love that no one wants to talk about--see if you agree!

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Leigh Pretnar Cousins, MS

Today I am the Al Gore of romance, compiling a list of ten things which strike me as true, though not pretty, about Love.

Is facing them refreshing? Healthy? One of those Hey, look at that elephant in the room! sort of things?

That’s what I’m going for here.

And let’s see if you agree with me, and whether you’ve got some you’d like to add.

  1. Sometimes, when we love someone, we do them more harm than good.
  2. Sometimes, we love more than one person.
  3. It can be really hard to end a relationship, and therefore we often do it in messy, confusing, painful ways.
  4. Sometimes it’s impossible to let go of an old love until you’ve got a new one in its place.
  5. We lie because we want something very badly, that we are convinced we can’t have honestly.
  6. Being evasive, omitting important details, creating distractions, and all those other forms of “spin,” count as lying.
  7. We lie about why we lie. It’s not to protect the other person’s feelings or because “they couldn’t handle the truth.” The real reason is #5, above.
  8. We all lie.
  9. Your lover doesn’t always act in your best interest. Nor do you always act in theirs.
  10. “I love you” may mean a great deal to the person having that feeling, but it often doesn’t gets translated into action that connects in a meaningful way to the loved one’s life.  The loved one may not even notice, let alone appreciate, the fact of being loved.

My hope is that we read these and accept that, yeah, this is what people do.

And in doing so we accept and forgive the people we love…and ourselves.
 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

John M. Grohol

Psychologist

Dr. John Grohol is a mental health expert and founder of Psych Central. He has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues, and the intersection of technology and psychology since 1992.

Location: Newburyport, MA
Credentials: PsyD
Website: PsychCentral
Other Articles/News by John M. Grohol:

Military Service Enhances Marriage Stability

By

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Janice Wood Members of the military are more likely to be married and, despite the challenges of making a marriage work with unpredictable schedules and frequent separations due to deployments, are not more vulnerable to divorce than civilian marriages. According to a new study published in the ... Read more

Sexual Dysfunction: The Escalating Price of Abusing Porn

By

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Robert Weiss, LCSW, CSAT-S Mark’s Story Mark is a married, 35-year-old realtor. His wife, Janet, is a pharmaceutical sales rep who spends several days each week on the road. Both report that their sex life was great until just a few years ago, and Mark is not sure what happened. He used to look ... Read more

Risking a Relationship

By

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Meredith Bazirgan, MSW, LCSW You know the feeling: you lay in bed, wide awake, tossing and turning, and wishing you could sleep. Instead, your mind drifts to the one. You know the one: that person you cannot shake from your mind, no matter how hard you try. Nothing steals a good night’s sleep ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Beauty

Wired and Tired?

Do you know in our constant state of connecting, we have forgotten how to take it easy and just be?

Press Conference

DeMistyfy Your Dating: Radio Interview: [EXPERT]

And yes, we spelled it that way for a reason! Listen to this humorous interview of Spike and learn!

Running Woman

Post-Divorce Growth…After They Go, Grow [EXPERT]

Identify your positive changes post-divorce. Make it a growth experience!

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
FROM OUR PARTNERS