When Men Do Chores, You Have Less Sex


man ironing
New research suggests that maybe men shouldn't help out around the house after all.

What woman wouldn't want her husband's help with daily chores? After all, even if your husband thanks you and expresses gratitude for your housework, words only go so far. Plus, no one wants to feel taken for granted, and an overload of household chores can easily dampen the desire for romance.

Interestingly, however, a University of Washington study found that married men who pitch in with household duties have 1.6 fewer sexual encounters per week than those who don't. The study also revealed that when husbands stick to traditionally masculine chores (generally 17 hours per week) and wives stick to traditionally feminine chores (generally 34 hours per week), sex increases a little. So, the husband double-benefits from doing less household work. He enjoys more sex and less work while the wife doubles up on work and is probably too tired to enjoy the intimacy as a result.


For a lasting, loving and rewarding marriage, both husband and wife need to feel appreciated, loved and respected. Every relationship has a groove which fits the couple's individual needs and allows the relationship to flourish. A lack of balance that can easily create resentment. When bitterness takes root in the heart, the breakdown of that shared intimacy is dangerously close. The key is to communicate  openly when you feel overwhelmed with too many responsibilities. Traditional gender role models work for some couples but are not for everyone. Express to your spouse how you want to be shown love — and take the initiative to show your love in the manner he wants to receive it. This will lessen the likelihood of resentment from forming in your marriage. Emotional fulfillment is an essential element which makes those sexual encounters more connected. And in this case, quality definitely overrides quantity.

Nancy Pina is a highly recognized author, relationship coach and speaker. She is dedicated to helping individuals attract emotionally healthy relationships through her practical, Christian-based advice. Visit here for articles, exercises, coaching options and recent books.

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Nancy Pina

Relationship Coach

Nancy Pina, Relationship Coach

Contact: 832-566-0800

Recent books: What to Look for in a Man, Attract the Lasting Love of your Life


Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Forgiveness, Spiritual
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