Are you under the thumb of a jealous partner? Jealousy, while a normal emotion that everyone feels to a small or large degree at some time in his or her life, can also be damaging if the feelings lead to destructive or controlling behaviors.
Jealous partners can be both male and female. They try to control their love interest (you) so that they can avoid the pain of loss. They consider their partner to be valuable and they fear losing her or him. The problem is that the behaviors they do to try to avoid losing their partner are the same behaviors that drive their partners away.
If you have been the object of a jealous partner, you will agree that it can definitely hurt in many ways. Jealousy erodes the foundation of a relationship. Here are some ways it can create problems for you:
Loss of self-confidence: when your partner acts jealously, may find your confidence decreasing. For instance, if he tells you that you are dressing provocatively, even when you are wearing sweatpants, you may begin to doubt yourself. You wonder if he may have a point. Unreasonable jealous behavior can reduce a naturally outgoing person to a shy, unsure one.
Loss of self-trust: when your partner is jealous, especially when you have done nothing to deserve a jealous reaction, you begin to lose trust in your partner. You may have once thought that you could believe in him, but his jealousy begins to seem like constant harassment. You may wonder whether you can trust your own judgment when it comes to interacting with other people.
Loss of initiative: if you give into the unreasonable demands of a jealous partner, you may find that you fear to act without his guidance. You may begin to ask him whether you can talk to certain people or whether a particular dress is appropriate for you to wear. You may even stop wearing makeup or perfume for fear of setting him off.
If you are under the thumb of a jealous partner, you may be surprised at how much you have done to avoid his fits of jealousy. Your friends and family may have noticed how different you are before you recognize the changes in yourself. In a healthy relationship, you do not have to give up who you are to be with someone else. Of course, this does not mean that you do not need to improve yourself, as we all do. But drastically altering your personality to make a jealous person happy is sacrificing the core of who you are to be in a relationship.
If you are dealing with a jealous person, whether you are married or dating, I invite you to get my free report: "Marriage on the Rocks? Learn the Seven Deadly Habits that destroy relationships AND Find out what you can do instead."
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