10 Christmas Survival Tips For The Newly Divorced

By

Sad woman in santa hat
Missing your kids and feeling alone at Christmas? Try these 10 tips to lift your spirits.

I cannot think of Christmas without a vision of family. What if you are alone this Christmas? Not only do you not have your spouse but you don’t have your kids? The first thing I need to tell you is you are not alone; 50% of marriages split up and there are often kids in that mix. Either you or your ex has to be without their children on Christmas Eve or Christmas.

When you are newly divorced or separated this can feel like an overwhelming loss. Hauling out the ornaments and decorations may bring a flood of memories. It is common to ask yourself if the divorce or separation was necessary. Could you have worked through it? This ambiguity is heightened when you go to the mall and see couples hand in hand. You begin to wonder if you could have done something differently to make it work. Remembering the good times makes you more likely to feel depressed when you are newly divorced. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t make the situation go away.

There are things you can do to make this Christmas less heartbreaking and give you a deeper sense of gratitude. Children are barometers for parents, and if they see a parent unhappy it will make them feel sad. Don’t make your kids suffer your loneliness in your first Christmas without them. Make a plan now, and Christmas Eve will be a bit less painful.

1.  Think out of the box. You don’t need to have the same traditions you had when you were married. If you are alone it is an opportunity to start over and do what really matters to you.

2.  Make a plan to call your children at a particular time. Negotiate with your ex regarding what time would be good so as not to interfere with their holiday plans (the more you support your ex in being a good parent, the better chance your children have of growing up to be confident, well-adjusted people).

3.  Invite family or friends over for Christmas Eve. The more you focus on serving others the deeper meaning Christmas will have for you.

4.  If your kids are going to be gone for two or three days and you cannot bear being in the house alone, plan a short trip. Instead of buying gifts no one needs, splurge on a short trip you always wanted to take. People are very friendly this time of year, and most likely you will not have to struggle to make friends.

5.  Allow yourself to do whatever you could not do when the kids were with you. Take a hot bath, or stay up and read until 3 a.m.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

Sleeping In The Nude: Does What You Wear To Bed Affect Intimacy?

By

A recent survey published by Cotton USA reveals that 57 percent of married couples who sleep nude report being happy with their partner. Roughly half of all couples do sleep nude and approximately half of those are over the age of 55. Is it the nudity itself helping couples feel happier with their partner or is the nudity symbolic for something deeper that ... Read more

5 Ways To Survive A Friend Unfriending You

By

A group of my colleagues and friends were talking about losing good friends. One of my friends' situations was a job promotion and a change of location. Her friend cut her off, didn't want to be her friend anymore, and un-friended her on Facebook, leaving her feeling confused and mistrusting. Had this person been a friend at all? Another friend told ... Read more

Fighting Fair Made Easy In Six Easy Steps

By

http://youtu.be/-_G4NpWgyNQ   The one area that most couples do not explore before they get married is "how to fight". It may seem derogatory, or somehow cynical to focus on how you will fight with each other when you are beginning a new life together, but nothing could be further from the truth. Learning to fight fair has health benefits as ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB