Warning: This will seriously piss off most women and possibly some men.
I'm a matchmaker. I don't take on women as clients. My clients are successful wealthy men who normally ask to be introduced to much younger beautiful women.
Usually this is the part where older (read 40+) women accuse me of being misogynistic. They claim that it is because of women like me, who perpetuate this ugly reality, that older women cannot find men. Some men agree.
Reality, however, is different. It may not be much kinder, but it is different. The reason successful older men prefer to date younger women is because THEY CAN. Women are not attracted to youth. Women are attracted to confidence and power.
So when a beautiful woman in her 20s or 30s meets a man who is in his 50s and has the world in the palm of his hand, that is sexy and alluring to her. His age becomes as irrelevant to her as last year's fashion. All you have to do is walk into one of the numerous upscale restaurants or clubs of New York City. All the young, drop-dead gorgeous women accompanying older men were not dragged there by force; I can assure you. They are perfectly OK with older men dating younger women.
It almost becomes irrelevant to these men (or this article) whether these young ladies are truly in love or are merely out to make better lives for themselves. What counts is that they are sitting across from a woman who is beautiful, intelligent and alive. She won't complain about her ex; she won't moan about how tired she is because she was doing housework all day with three whining children, and then had to prepare dinner and take the dog to the vet.
No. This woman is out to have a good time and then come home and have wild and passionate sex on the kitchen counter or the bathroom floor. Because she is young. And before some of you tell me about your strong sex drive after 40, consider this: Her 25-year-young spirit comes in a shape of a 25-year-young, coin-bounce-off-ass body.
So when the comparison is down-to-the-minute detail: She wins. Is it fair? No. But hiding your head in the sand and insisting that "real men" don't want younger women, they want an equal is naïve at best and detrimental to your own love life at worst. When a man is successful and wealthy, he wants a young vibrant woman whom he can enjoy in bed and high society alike.
And another thing: No matter how old the man is, he still wants to go out with a younger woman. I recently had a 78-year-old client who wouldn't even consider a woman older than 50. If you are 25 years old as you are reading this, let me put this in perspective: That would be like dating a 55-year-old.
That brings me to why I can’t take on women as clients; and no, misogyny has nothing to do with it. In this tough singles market, if a man pays top dollar for a matchmaker, he expects nothing less than a 29-year-old model. As a result, I cannot find a husband for a 47-year-old schoolteacher with two kids and three mortgages.
So where does it leave a relatively pretty, average 40-something woman who is young at heart (even with three kids and a dog and a cat), and is looking for Mr. Right? Is she doomed to a life of singledom and loneliness? Not necessarily.
There are a few resources I recommend:
1. Find a matchmaker who accepts women as clients.
They will work for you to produce the best results in minimum time.
2. Join hobby groups.
No matter what your hobby, you can find a group and meet people (read "men") that share your interests.
3. Get out of the house.
Whether it's dinner with girlfriends or a quiet evening by yourself at a local pub, GET OUT. You won't meet anyone sitting at home and complaining about not being able to meet anyone.
As for me, my over-40 girlfriends and I will cry into our martinis, lamenting this unjust man’s world, and then I will go back to work finding matches for clients whose ideal love is two generations removed.