Near as soon as Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced the conscious dissolution of their marriage with the term “conscious uncoupling” opinions of all kinds were spreading like wild fire. There are those of us who are really pleased to have the new term Conscious Uncoupling, such as those who created the term, Katherine Woodward Thomas and her friend Kit. Then there are those who are sickened by it and expressing it as a term that only “stuck up” eilitist celebrities use. Furthermore, there are those spinning off on it discussing the aspects of unconscious coupling and what have you!
Regardless of where you stand, it is quite a conversation piece not only for those struggling with considering divorce and those right smack in the midst of it, but also for those of us working in the field of separation and divorce. Several weeks ago on my radio show, The Mother Rising on VoiceAmerica’s Empowerment station, I was speaking with Robert Farzad, a Family Law Attorney in Newport Beach, CA. He was explaining how detrimental it can be from the get go between spouses simply because we put the initials VS. between their two names in the court paperwork. “We pit them against eachother, right from the start,” stated Mr. Farzad. Sadly, the actual court paperwork even for Gwyneth and Chris will still state VS between them; however, their grand scale effort to language their split in a way that is more in alignment with the natural world will no doubt allow for more joy and love to flourish or at least more potential for it to flourish sooner than later.
How Conscious Uncoupling is Like Nature
When I say that conscious uncoupling more accurately reflects the natural world, we must take a quick look into nature. When we see a plant that is anchored in the ground, such as a sunflower, grow tall and create a beautiful flower, give off its seeds and then die, we don’t see the flower poison the earth, nor do we see the flower fly off and remove itself from the earth of which it was apart. Instead we see the flowers and roots die back, the stem slowly falling over with the head of the flower and then the entire plant folding itself back into the soil to grow something anew. Conscious uncoupling seems to me to be a more accurate reflection of how the dismantling of a relationship could be handled.