You may be surprised to discover you are more like Kim than you think.
Kim Kardashian’s in the spotlight again after her nightmare divorce from Kris Humphries was finally granted 536 days after the filing of the divorce, seven times longer than their marriage.
Somehow this is front page news. People say the Kardashian’s are famous for being famous. True. Famous for being beautiful. True. And what people don’t articulate is that we are attracted to their child-like vulnerability in front of the entire world. There is something obsessively fascinating about someone else’s “trauma-drama.” A side benefit is that it certainly takes our minds off our own lives.
OK, I admit it, I am a fan. Gulp. I feel like I just came out of the proverbial closet. I take comfort in the fact that obviously, I’m not alone.
Who hasn’t said “how in the world can Kourtney tolerate that alcoholic, wimpy, narcissistic self-absorbed Scott?” “How can Bruce Jenner allow Kris to emasculate him in front of the world?” And my favorite part is when they say something like, “don’t tell anyone but…” when the cameras are rolling!
The ultimate irony was when the amazingly beautiful Kim dates and marries this over-grown immature child-man while we all sit glued to the TV scratching our heads in utter confusion. The lack of ability to communicate, articulate her needs, and inability to accommodate each other into the life of a “married couple” left the audience shaking their heads in disbelief.
Of course we all know that the 45 minutes of show time from a week-long of filming doesn’t give us the whole picture. Yet, after numerous interviews with this growing-up-in-front-of-our-faces TV family, we are left with a clearer picture.
When I see someone like Kim admitting to Ryan Seacrest that yes she does want to get remarried, I say YES, go for it! As an ex-family law attorney, I’ve seen thousands of people jaded by the hurt that comes with breakups. Some people build huge walls around themselves to keep love out, even when the thing they want most is to be loved.
Kim, in this sense, is courageous. If you had a public wedding costing millions in front of millions of people, that fell apart in literally 72 days, would you be able to love again in the public domain?
So, are you like Kim when it comes to love? Ask yourself these questions:
1. Do you fall in love with someone’s potential rather than what they actually present?
2. Are you spontaneous and able to jump in with both feet quickly when it comes to love?
3. Do you believe love should conquer all?
4. Do you have a good support system who tell you the truth, with whom you are comfortable ignoring their advice, and they still love you anyway?
5. Can your self-esteem take a blow? In other words, can you be hurt and bounce back without creating a moat and erecting castle walls around you?
If you answered yes to 3 or more of these questions, you may be more like Kim than you may realize.
While Kim Kardashian’s style of falling in love, marriage, divorce and falling in love may not be your cup of tea, it is certainly healthier that falling in love, marrying, divorcing and building a reinforced fortress around yourself. I have to say, I find her behavior courageous and in some ways, encouraging. After all, deep down inside, don’t we all want love?
Lori S. Rubenstein, JD, PCC spent 18 years as a divorce attorney-mediator, however, her passion for helping others led her down the path of divorce, relationship and forgiveness coaching. She is the author of three transformational books and has a special gift of holding sacred space for people to transcend their “stories” and step into a new, more empowering life. Contact Lori now to set up a 15 minute consultation to learn how you can start to mend your own relationship hurts