After years of marital bliss, even the most passionate of couples can get stuck in a romantic rut. Before we know it, our careers, chores, and children have taken precedence in the relationship leaving almost no time for play. If we want romance, we actually have to schedule time for it. I know a lot of people like to get down on Valentine's Day. They think it's just another commercial ploy. But maybe it's not. What if Valentine's Day is really a way of reminding us that we need to get back in the game and start flirting again with our husband, wife, or significant other? If so, are you ready to reignite the romance in your relationship this Valentine's Day?
One problem I see is that some couples don't really know how to flirt with one another. They don't realize that flirting is simply a matter of being playful with your partner in a way that's fun, but also a little fearless and edgy. You don't want to play it too safe when you're flirting. It's okay to be a little naughty. An accomplished flirt knows how to push the envelope and titillate her partner. No one person flirts in the same way. Jeffrey Hall's "The Five Flirting Styles," identifies the different types of flirting as: playful, sincere, traditional, physical, and polite. Which one are you?
If you're looking to rekindle the flame with your partner, why wait? Seize the "day" and do something special for your significant other. To put the va-va-voom back in your bedroom (and your relationship), try following some of the tips below.
1) Go Back to the Beginning
Sometimes we forget why we fell in love with our partner in the first place. So why not try and recreate the feelings you had when you first started dating? Get him a gift that reminds you of your very first date, or write an inside joke that you used to share on your Valentine's card. It will bring back those butterflies from when you were first falling in love.
2) Be Thoughtful
Throughout the year, I write down the funny and flirtatious conversations I have with my husband, Benjamin. Last Valentine's Day, I printed them out and turned them into a book. These moments in time could have been forgotten, but now we will be able to remember them forever. When Benjamin opened the book, he laughed until he cried. He said that it was the best gift he's ever gotten. Benjamin knows that I truly listen to, value, and appreciate every word he says. Is there anything more thoughtful than that?
3) Use Your Imagination:
I try to imagine that I'm a different woman every time I make love to my husband. Sometimes I'm Marilyn Monroe — Hello Mr. President! One night I might be Jennifer Lawrence. And if he's a very lucky boy, I might channel Penelope Cruz, his personal favorite! This is a great way to spice up the bedroom, not to mention your husband can pretend to be George Clooney or Patrick Wilson, if you're lucky!
Have you ever seen the Modern Family episode where Claire and Phil meet in the hotel lobby bar and pretend to be strangers? Although this might have ended in fictional disaster, role-playing can make for real life fun. Why not book a hotel room for the night and meet separately at the bar, as if you were seeing one another for the very first time? You can even take on totally different personalities. Wear a disguise or a costume, and don't forget to change your names! You might try something like Mona Aamons Monzano and Dirk Beauregard? Scarlett and Rhett? Beyonce and Jay Z?
5) Dress Up
Is there anything sexier than the cast of Mad Men? Why not time travel to an entirely different era and play dress up with your partner! Don an apron and heels while you fix your husband a Manhattan. If you're a man, come home in a suit and tie. I think I might even try this one out! If you're a fan of the Sixties, hit a thrift shop to score a mini-skirt, fishnets, and some white patent leather gogo boots. Pop on some false eyelashes and blue eye shadow and crank up some 60s tunes. If you live in Washington or Colorado, you can even visit your local pot shop for the full effect. I'm not speaking from experience, but I've heard does wonders for your sex life!
6) Go To Extremes
Do something shocking for your partner that will really knock him off his feet and leave him thinking about you long after Valentine's Day. My grandmother — who could have been Lucille Ball’s twin — once told me that, if my grandfather were still alive, she would have met him at the door wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The thing is, she would have done it!
Valentine's Day is the perfect excuse to get out of your routine and get back to flirtier times. It's also an excuse to do something crazy and fun for you and your partner. Anyone can make a reservation at a romantic restaurant, but not everyone knows how to wear Saran Wrap. Get creative and show your partner that you still care. What can you do to rekindle the romance with your partner this Valentine’s Day?
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