Lost that loving feeling? Here's how to get it back.
"A successful relationship requires falling in love multiple times, but always with the same person." — Unknown
Don't be scared to talk about it with your partner. The Gottman Institute has done a ton of research in working with couples, and we have found that talking about it is one of the best things you can do for your marriage.
In the beginning, you worked very hard to win over your partner. Once you win over your partner, you still need to work hard. It's like a pop star getting their first hit song. If they want a second hit song, then they need to work even harder.
Here are five researched tips that will have you fall back into love with your partner:
1. Kiss for six seconds.
You read that right. In our busy world most of the time we give our partner a peck. You need to stop and kiss on the lips for six seconds. It's not really that long and the physiological effects are great.
2. Know one important thing about your partner's day.
This is also known as departing.
Before your partner leaves for the day, make it a point to know one important thing about their day. Don't be scared to ask, if they don't say. This shows genuine interest, which helps build the friendship.
3. Greet your partner at the end of the day.
This is a time where you put down all electronics and have a twenty-minute conversation with your partner. Allow your partner to talk about their day and don't judge or give feedback. This helps reduce external stresses in the relationship.
4. Update your LoveMaps.
You should know your partner inside and out.
As human beings, we are complex and always changing. Set aside some time once a week to update LoveMaps. This will let your partner know that you have their back no matter what.
5. Always touch, touch, touch!
That's right, you have to kiss, hug, and play with one another. The more the better.
We all like to be touched and to give touch. The next time your partner is cooking in the kitchen, rub up behind them. Be playful!
As we all know, there is a continuum for intimacy and sex. As Dr. John Gottman says, "Every positive thing you do for your relationship is foreplay." The good news is, it's never too late to start over.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist dedicated to helping couples. She has spent the last five years learning and applying The Gottman Method for Couples in her practice. For more help, please visit www.LessonsforLove.com.
This article was originally published at www.LessonsforLove.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.