21 Great Questions To Ask A First Date (To Really Get A Feel For Who They Are)

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21 Great Questions For A First Date
Heartbreak, Love

Try to have fun and not be too serious.

Dating can be tricky. What should you wear? Where should you meet? Who should pay? Should you offer to pay? What should you eat?

And, the list goes on.

Try not to worry too much about a first date. Remember, this doesn’t have to be the person that you marry.

Honestly, I think people make dating harder that it should be. After a while, you may feel like throwing in the towel and watching a movie on Netflix alone. But, after a while, that can get boring. It’s important to hang in there.

I know you've had your heart broken. But, if you keep at it, you can find that diamond in the rough.


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Look at the first date as an interview. You are getting to know someone new. Try to have fun and not be too serious. There are definitely a few rules to follow.

Don’t talk on your cell phone. Don’t do all the talking. And, ask your date questions. This will help your date open up and feel that you are genuinely interested in them.

Here are 21 great first date questions to get to know them:

  1. What do you like to do when you’re not working?
  2. What type of music are you into?
  3. Are you a cat person or a dog person?
  4. If you won the lottery tomorrow, what is the first thing you would buy?
  5. Do you have any siblings? If so, are you close with them?
  6. Do your parents still live in the house you grew up in?
  7. Do you ever cook?

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  8. What is your social life like? Do you have a big group of friends or a small group?
  9. Do you like sports?
  10. Are you a movie person or a T.V. person? 
  11. How do you like to spend Saturdays?
  12. What type of work do you do? Do you like it?
  13. Where are you originally from?
  14. Are you close with your parents?
  15. Where else would you consider living?
  16. Do you volunteer anywhere?
  17. What was your favorite vacation?
  18. Any plans for travel in the future?
  19. When is your birthday?
  20. Do you like children?
  21. What are you looking for in a relationship?

Make sure that you are having fun when you are dating. If the first date doesn’t work out, that’s alright. You can always meet more people. Learn to ride with the highs and lows of dating. This is a great time to get to know yourself better.

Be open to anything. Let your friends and family set you up and don’t be too picky. First impressions are important, so remember to bring your A-game to the first date.

This includes dressing for the part and not picking heavy topics to talk about, like politics, war, or family dynamics. You don’t want to play it too cool, either.

Research has shown men like it when women are kind and warm right off the bad. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but just be yourself. It will really pay off in the long run.


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Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in San Mateo, CA. She has worked with many singles, and has helped them get to know themselves at a deeper level. For more information, please visit Lessons for Love.

This article was originally published at Lessons for Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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