Step up your friendship status and soar as a wingwoman.
When I was young, my affinity for talking to strangers was problematic for my parents. Luckily, I had a safe childhood, so my fearlessness of stranger danger translated okay into my adulthood. And it's a big part of the reason I decided to become a professional matchmaker. I'd find myself sitting at a bar or at a wedding, and a friend would nudge me and point out the hot guy across the room. Seeing it as an excuse to talk to a stranger, I'd walk over and start conversation. Sometimes I'd come back with a thumbs down or report a wedding ring sighting, but many times, I'd come back with him, ready to make an introduction to my friend. Wingwoman mission accomplished.
Let me be clear — wingwomaning is different from matchmaking. The former is opening immediate opportunities for your friend, while matchmaking encompasses so much more. But you get the glory of creating a couple either way, so here are some ways to be the highest flying wingwoman:
- Be Aggressive: Make the initial contact with the target. Anyone can sit back and eye the hottie from across the room. But you're here to make things happen. So aim and fire. It may sound scary, but if he rebuffs you, it's not like it was you who was into him anyway.
- Be Friendly, Not Flirty: You know how you speak differently to your boss than to the hot bartender? Err on the side of the former. Be warm and inviting, but no hair flipping, no batted eyelashes, no seductive giggles. You're not trying to get him for yourself.
- It's Not About You: Nothing about this exchange has anything to do with you, except for you bringing two people together. You do not need to be hilarious, impressive, or tell a long story about your puppy to fill silence. Make a conscious effort not to talk about yourself, but to steer conversation back to the potential couple.
- Get Out ASAP: As soon as you see them starting conversation, it's time for you to go. Your job is to get your friend the "in." Once you've done your duty, leave. Hovering sends mixed signals to the target. Do you want him or does she? Should he hit on your friend in front of you? Peacing out tells the target he's within range.
- Be Ok On Your Own: Don't give your friend the added stress of having to worry about you after she's made a connection. Redirect your wingwoman skills to chat up someone else, or hit the dance floor alone. She'll be ok if you're ok.
Not everyone's called to be a wingwoman. It is one of the greatest sacrifices you can make for your friend. But know that when your first wingwoman mission works out, you'll get your wings and soar!