5 Lessons Every Single Mother Should Learn


single mom
An expert and single mother shares what she's learned in raising her two boys alone.

According to an article in The Atlantic, "The National Marriage Project reports that 58 percent of first births in lower-middle-class households and 40 percent of all U.S. births are to unwed mothers." This is being attributed to young adults in the United States who delay getting married until their mid-20s.

This means that more and more single moms are out there navigating uncharted territory and they are definitely not a one-size-fits-all group. Maybe they are parenting without an active father. Maybe they're single, but co-parenting with the child's father. Maybe they are co-parenting with a stepfather. And then there are those women who find themselves parenting alone the death of a co-parent.


I fell into that last group. I got married and found myself parenting our two boys alone after my husband died. So, I'd like to share some lessons I learned you might find helpful as you walk down the path of being a single mother.

1. Know you are enough. I don't know about you, but I often had my doubts about parenting my children on my own. I felt that I was missing a critical element — the father! Well, even if you are missing that element, know that you will be enough to give your children what they need. It's similar to when you lose one sense, the other senses become heightened. Don't doubt your ability. Know for certain that you have what it takes to successfully parent your child(ren). My book, Secrets of Happy Couples, will help you while in the alone stage of the relationship 

2. Nurture yourself in the process. Women are notorious for taking care of others and we oftentimes feel best when helping others, particularly our children. However, the flip side of that strength is we often forget to take care of ourselves and we don't even recognize when our energy gets depleted. This leads to exhaustion and an inability to parent the way we'd like to parent. You are the center of your family and you must be strong so you can take care of everyone else. It isn't selfish to prioritize your own needs; it's actually smart because the stronger you are, the more you can do for your children. Keep reading ...

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Kim Olver


Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

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Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
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