It's the perfect time of year to warm up to someone new in your life.
The holidays are a great time for dating. Our hearts are vulnerable and those twangs of nostalgia tug at each of us, reminding us of our innate need to cconnect with our fellow man.
Here's how to take advantage of the sappy season ahead of us:
1. Sprinkle in some proactive love energy.
'Tis the season for giving, yes? Do something this year that you've never done, or that has hit the back burner for years. Pick up one manageable box of holiday cards and send one out to the people in your life who matter most to you. Say thank you for the contribution this person has made you, as if it's this person's last holiday season on the planet.
2. Plan a plus-one party.
Don't plan it for December, but for mid-January; break up the mid-winter humdrums when more folks will be available to attend. It could be a fancy event, but some of the best parties are simple happy-hour gatherings at pool halls, bowling alleys or a dart throwing contest at a local dive bar.
The trick? Each person's ticket for admission is to bring a fun, opposite sex friend ... someone you don't yet know. You, as the organizer make damn sure you get each person's name, email address and phone number, which is oh-so-valuable for relationship building for whom? Yes, for you; your just reward for organizing the event.
And of course, then you get to follow up with each person who attends, developing new friendships and prospective amorous opportunities.
3. Be the harmonizer at each of the holiday gatherings you attend.
There's always a drunk uncle, a grumpy teenager or a catty co-worker to deal with. You can count on it, so plan for it. Take a few moments before walking in the door to ground and center yourself, remember who you are, and to call forth your best self.
In true Harry Potter style, throw on an imaginary cloak that will shield you from negativity, hostility, animosity, mean-spiritedness, or just low-level and unconscious energy in the room. There will be bad situations present—as every family, organization and community has its "stuff"—so be prepared psychologically and emotionally, and do all you can to not make a bad situation worse.
Let the little comments go, and resist the temptation to throw gasoline on any kindling fires. Watch for those hot spots, avoid them when you can, and if you do find yourself in the midst of a firestorm, resist the temptation to engage, and be the calming influence instead.
4. Don't drink.
Can you do this? If you're the one who always heads straight to the bar, try being the person who doesn't. Imagine that. Go for a cranberry juice and a splash of soda (a lime helps), and see what it's like to have your attention focused outward on other people, making sure they are having a great time. This alone can change everything for you.
5. Look for opportunities and watch for surprises.
Each day of this holiday season, make it your mission to brighten the life of those you cross paths with each day. This includes the folks behind the wheels of the cars on your way to work during the morning commute. There's a real, live being in that car whose heart aches over something.
Look for those little opportunities to generate a smile on the face of a total stranger. Pick up the phone to call your mom, your sister, or that cousin you haven't talked to in years. Calling forth these actions will put karmic wheels in motion for you, and you will see lovely surprises coming back your way. I promise!
If you're single, and you'd much rather be in love, place yourself where you can be found. Register privately with me, for free, to be eligible for matchmaking referrals throughout the U.S., Canada, and worldwide.