You'd love to be in love. You're finally ready, the timing is great, and yet ... you have no immediate prospects. It can be tough to make this realization, but here's a powerful practice to integrate into your daily routine. It's an assignment I often give to my personal matchmaking clients, and it works like magic. Here's how you can get a date at your local coffee shop!
1. Get out of your house.
Start frequenting your local coffee houses, and learn to be comfortable sitting solo, making yourself available for eye contact, smiles and lighthearted, casual conversation. Especially if you've never really been comfortable venturing out on your own for a social adventure, this is a beautiful way to stretch, grow, and create your own magic.
2. Keep your eyes open—and be open-minded!
There is absolutely no shortage of great people. There are some truly wonderful, single, relationship-seeking men and women in this world, and right in your local neighborhood. Truly! You and I cross paths with lots and lots of single people, well worth meeting every single day. Let's make sure you're maximizing your opportunities for magnetizing men toward you, right there at your local coffee shop.
Yes, I know, it's hard to "get out" sometimes, especially when the idea of hanging in sweats and a baseball cap until noon seems like a really warm, cozy idea. But if the goal is to spend future weekends with a loving partner, first you need to meet and attract this guy. For inspiration, I'm writing this to you from my local Starbucks on this gorgeous, sunny Saturday, where as usual, I see a steady stream of interesting locals floating in and out of the shop.
3. Maintain your chic style.
You don't need to get all dolled up, but throw on a cute, casual, outfit that's flirty and a wee bit sexy. Do your hair and makeup; maybe some face powder, a touch of eye color, lip color — make at least a bit of an effort whenever you're venturing out to run errands. You never know when your next flirting opportunity might present itself.
4. Don't hide yourself.
Keep your face out of your iPhone, your iPad or laptop. If your eyes are locked on your communication device, you can't engage with the people around you. If you really need your crutch (yes, it is a crutch), then discipline yourself to focus your attention on the people around you. Keep a casual, easy smile on your face and hold eye contact, helping to engage them in conversation with you. Allow your focus to land back on your phone or computer screen only when there's no one to engage with.
Don't leave the coffee shop until you've had at least three positive social encouters. Practice. Stretch. Get comfortable being a little bit uncomfortable, and see what happens. One of my most significant romantic relationships started just this way. I saw him sitting at a nearby table, and our eyes kept finding each other.
Looking for some way to strike up a conversation, I noticed a book on his table that I'd heard about but hadn't yet read. Next time our eyes locked, I smiled and asked, "Hey, I noticed the book you're reading and it's on my list ... how is it?" He and I had a really gorgeous two-year relationship. If you're the "more feminine" woman who really wants the guy to make the first move, you'll want to practice signaling men (with your smile and your eye contact) to let him know you're open to having a conversation.
5. Have a blast.
Have fun playing with your coffee shop flirting skills. Report back to let me know what's working for you!