The Post-Breakup Social Media Survival Guide
By Dr. Judith Tutin. Posted on .
Who can resist the urge to look at their ex's Facebook page? Admit it. It calls your name and whispers, "Check me out!" No harm, right?
An astute researcher in England begs to differ. A recent study concluded that the more time you spend on your ex's Facebook page, the more psychological distress you experience, the greater your desire for your ex and the more difficulty you have moving on.
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Admit it. You are not really surprised. That's because most of us realize that the toxic connections we have with our exes are stoked by talking about, thinking about and looking at stuff about them. While lurking on their Facebook page may not morph itself into stalking, it's just not healthy.
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Here are the rest of my online dos and don'ts:
- Don't stalk your ex online. Don't look at his Facebook page and don't look at his Twitter feed, either. I strongly suggest de-friending your ex and un-following him. Otherwise you'll wind up seeing posts you shouldn't see. While you're at it, de-friend your ex-in-laws and ex-friends as well.
- Don't post things about your ex online. Posting about your ex online is just asking for trouble. If you want to have a private conversation about your ex with a friend, that's great. Just don't use a social media platform for it. Your goal should be to decrease the time you spend ex-watching and ex-bashing ... the sooner, the better.
- Don't "friend" your ex's new girlfriend on Facebook. This may seem self-evident, but you'd be surprised by how many people fall into this trap. Keep reading ...
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