The Post-Breakup Social Media Survival Guide

By

young woman online with laptop computer and jean jacket
Don't stalk your ex online, and other rules to live by.

Who can resist the urge to look at their ex's Facebook page? Admit it. It calls your name and whispers, "Check me out!" No harm, right?

An astute researcher in England begs to differ. A recent study concluded that the more time you spend on your ex's Facebook page, the more psychological distress you experience, the greater your desire for your ex and the more difficulty you have moving on.

Admit it. You are not really surprised. That's because most of us realize that the toxic connections we have with our exes are stoked by talking about, thinking about and looking at stuff about them. While lurking on their Facebook page may not morph itself into stalking, it's just not healthy.

Here are the rest of my online dos and don'ts:

  • Don't stalk your ex online. Don't look at his Facebook page and don't look at his Twitter feed, either. I strongly suggest de-friending your ex and un-following him. Otherwise you'll wind up seeing posts you shouldn't see. While you're at it, de-friend your ex-in-laws and ex-friends as well.
  • Don't post things about your ex online. Posting about your ex online is just asking for trouble. If you want to have a private conversation about your ex with a friend, that's great. Just don't use a social media platform for it. Your goal should be to decrease the time you spend ex-watching and ex-bashing ... the sooner, the better.
  • Don't "friend" your ex's new girlfriend on Facebook. This may seem self-evident, but you'd be surprised by how many people fall into this trap. Keep reading ...

More breakup advice from Yourtango Experts:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Judith Tutin

Life Coach

Judith Tutin, PhD, ACC

Location: Rome, GA
Credentials: ACC, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Judith Tutin:

Am I As Crazy As Amazing Amy? Take The Test Here

By

When "Gone Girl," the book, came out, friends wondered if I'd ever worked with anyone like the main character, psychopath Amy, aka, Amazing Amy. Not to be confused with the garden variety narcissist, the psychopath has a much darker side. The narcissist will exploit anyone for their own gain, believes in their superiority to others in all ... Read more

7 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Control Your Ex's New Love Life

By

You may like Gwyneth Paltrow as a lifestyle guru (or not) but don't choose her as your post-divorce model. If the report is true that she's trying to keep Chris from having their kids around his new, younger girlfriend, or even mentioning J. Law's name around them, it's silly at best. Not that I blame her for wanting to control her ... Read more

10 Ways Your Cell Phone Keeps You Disconnected

By

Being present in the moment means you experience things in real time without being sidetracked by interfering thoughts, worries or distractions. If you're with someone, it means you're connecting and listening. If you're alone, it means you're more engaged with your activity, relaxed or in flow. Recent research suggests that our biological ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular