The Post-Breakup Social Media Survival Guide

By

young woman online with laptop computer and jean jacket
Don't stalk your ex online, and other rules to live by.

Who can resist the urge to look at their ex's Facebook page? Admit it. It calls your name and whispers, "Check me out!" No harm, right?

An astute researcher in England begs to differ. A recent study concluded that the more time you spend on your ex's Facebook page, the more psychological distress you experience, the greater your desire for your ex and the more difficulty you have moving on.

Admit it. You are not really surprised. That's because most of us realize that the toxic connections we have with our exes are stoked by talking about, thinking about and looking at stuff about them. While lurking on their Facebook page may not morph itself into stalking, it's just not healthy.

Here are the rest of my online dos and don'ts:

  • Don't stalk your ex online. Don't look at his Facebook page and don't look at his Twitter feed, either. I strongly suggest de-friending your ex and un-following him. Otherwise you'll wind up seeing posts you shouldn't see. While you're at it, de-friend your ex-in-laws and ex-friends as well.
  • Don't post things about your ex online. Posting about your ex online is just asking for trouble. If you want to have a private conversation about your ex with a friend, that's great. Just don't use a social media platform for it. Your goal should be to decrease the time you spend ex-watching and ex-bashing ... the sooner, the better.
  • Don't "friend" your ex's new girlfriend on Facebook. This may seem self-evident, but you'd be surprised by how many people fall into this trap. Keep reading ...

More breakup advice from Yourtango Experts:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Judith Tutin

Life Coach

Judith Tutin, PhD, ACC

Location: Rome, GA
Credentials: ACC, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Judith Tutin:

7 Ways You Choose Unhappiness (Without Even Realizing It)

By

As I approached a birthday, one with a ginormous number, a wise coach posed the question: If not now, when? I was grumbling about how I hadn't been getting enough done when I really wanted to spend more time reading, watching movies and the World Cup; in other words, engaging in activities that would result in getting even less done. If not now, when?, she ... Read more

10 Tips For Re-Entering The Dating Scene After Divorce

By , ,

The first date you have after (or during) your divorce is magical. You anticipate new love, new romance and even simply new friendship and camaraderie. It seems so dreamy, so playful and thrilling after all we've been through with our divorce or an intense severing of a relationship. The reality is we are recreating who we are anew. It's hard enough ... Read more

7 Steps To Reduce Insomnia

By

I was fascinated by the NY Times' two recent articles on sleep. One is about how to get more of it so you'll be more beautiful, featuring spas, sleep products and a barely perceptible nod to useful skills like meditation and relaxation. The companion piece is about makeup to hide the ravages of sleeplessness. Really? Sleep deprivation causes ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB