You know how people and their dogs often look alike? Sometimes they even seem to have the same personality. It can be that way with spouses as well. Live together long enough and before you know it you eat the same food, dress the same way and do the same things. It's easy to lose yourself in the relationship, subjugating your wants and needs in the name of peace and harmony. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. As we head into New Year's resolution time, I'm taking this opportunity to remind you that you can change a lot of those things now that you're divorced.
Consider these eight areas and ask yourself if you're where you want to be.
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1. Living space. People often like to move out of a shared space. If that works for you, great. Often, it's just not possible. Think about how you can make the space more yours and less his/hers. Getting rid of items that remind you of your ex can get expensive, but sometimes it's worth it. Painting, rearranging, redecorating and leaving your personal stamp on each and every room is helpful. Even small changes can have a positive impact.
2. Style. I'm talking hair, clothes, makeup, nails and anything else you created with your now ex-partner in mind. She liked wired rim frames to make you look more intellectual or a day-old growth to make you look like Bradley Cooper. He liked long, blond hair, blood red lipstick and stiletto heels to make you look like, well, you get the picture. Ask yourself if you really want to be driving that mini-van now that you're single again. Take back control and decide how to express yourself with your style choices.
3. Interests. Much as we like to consider ourselves individuals, it's tough not to take on the interests of our significant others. It's great to expand one's scope by trying new things. Now you can decide if you really want to continue going on that annual wilderness camping trip, watching football or cooking gourmet feasts. What are you really interested in?
4. Schedule. Early bird or night owl? Dinner at 8 or 6:00? Exercise in the morning or afternoon. Getting up earlier to have time with your significant other and doing things that please them is great. But now that they're gone, you can do things on your own schedule and it may be one that works better for you. After all, it's your biorhythm.