Holidays, And 7 Other Things To Change Post-Divorce

By

Holidays, And 7 Other Things To Change Post-Divorce
Don't be dogged by the ghost of Christmas past. Bring new life to the New Year post-divorce.

You know how people and their dogs often look alike? Sometimes they even seem to have the same personality. It can be that way with spouses as well. Live together long enough and before you know it you eat the same food, dress the same way and do the same things. It's easy to lose yourself in the relationship, subjugating your wants and needs in the name of peace and harmony. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. As we head into New Year's resolution time, I'm taking this opportunity to remind you that you can change a lot of those things now that you're divorced.

Consider these eight areas and ask yourself if you're where you want to be.

1. Living space. People often like to move out of a shared space. If that works for you, great. Often, it's just not possible. Think about how you can make the space more yours and less his/hers. Getting rid of items that remind you of your ex can get expensive, but sometimes it's worth it. Painting, rearranging, redecorating and leaving your personal stamp on each and every room is helpful. Even small changes can have a positive impact.
2. Style. I'm talking hair, clothes, makeup, nails and anything else you created with your now ex-partner in mind.  She liked wired rim frames to make you look more intellectual or a day-old growth to make you look like Bradley Cooper. He liked long, blond hair, blood red lipstick and stiletto heels to make you look like, well, you get the picture. Ask yourself if you really want to be driving that mini-van now that you're single again. Take back control and decide how to express yourself with your style choices.
3. Interests. Much as we like to consider ourselves individuals, it's tough not to take on the interests of our significant others. It's great to expand one's scope by trying new things. Now you can decide if you really want to continue going on that annual wilderness camping trip, watching football or cooking gourmet feasts. What are you really interested in?
4. Schedule. Early bird or night owl? Dinner at 8 or 6:00? Exercise in the morning or afternoon. Getting up earlier to have time with your significant other and doing things that please them is great. But now that they're gone, you can do things on your own schedule and it may be one that works better for you. After all, it's your biorhythm.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Judith Tutin

Life Coach

Judith Tutin, PhD, ACC

Location: Rome, GA
Credentials: ACC, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Judith Tutin:

18 Signs You're Probably Having An Emotional Affair (Yikes)

By , ,

In this day and age, most of us have friends of the opposite sex, whether they are co-workers, casual acquaintances or close confidantes. The question is: how close is too close when you're in a romantic relationship with someone else? Here are some signs that your so-called friendship may be entering the not-so-gray area of emotional infidelity: 1. You ... Read more

7 Surprising Ways You Can Boost Your Happiness

By

My son flew home recently and told me how he arrived at his seat and promptly put on headphones to avoid talking to anyone. I explained that a recent study found that those who talk to the person beside them on a plane or train arrive happier. He wasn't buying it. We all know that doing meaningful work, being with people you love, and avoiding all ... Read more

6 Surprising Lessons Yoga Taught Me About Divorce

By

About 10 years ago a friend invited me to a yoga class. Just divorced, I was feeling open to new things. Yoga was really not something I'd considered before, but I didn't evaluate it, overthink it or analyze it to death. I just went. It was my first lesson. Here's what I learned about divorce from yoga: 1. Beginner's Mind Imagine what it ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular