Defining and clarifying 'Relationship Lite' and what makes it great.
In my previous blog, I introduced 'Relationship Lite' (or RL) and gave you a little taste of how it's different from dating with pressure, or 'Relationship Heavy.' I promised I would show you how this mindset about dating is far better, easier, and more fun than the drama and anxiety you may have experienced in the past.
RL has so many advantages and benefits over "regular" dating. The biggest advantage is that you'll be a man magnet because your energy is so light and freeing that he won't be able to get enough of you. He will gravitate toward you because you'll be slightly elusive and mysterious. Are you into him? Does he "have" you? How can he make you be more "into" him, he'll wonder.
In Relationship Lite, you are having fun with your other friends, you're enjoying meeting more new people through your hobbies and interests, and you're loving life whether you're with your new romantic interest or not.
You give him space to do the same thing, because you know that seeing each other too much can become stale, and getting together after some time apart can be really hot.
You experiment with different kinds of dates to see if you're good together. You see shows, talk about controversial subjects, spend time with friends, go to parties and travel together.
You get to see what he's like around his family, his friends, his colleagues and strangers. You allow a natural unfolding to take place without anxiety or expectations. You aren't waiting for him to say, "I love you" or that he wants to get married next year.
You also enjoy the excitement and good feelings that come after a particularly good date, but you don't allow yourself to turn those good feelings into fantasies of moving in together or what your kids will look like. Not yet.
RL allows you to expand the picture of your Mr. Right by not pigeonholing yourself into one type of man when it comes to looks, money, status, or location. You can do RL with a man who says "he's not ready for serious" because you want to enjoy the experience and adventure and maybe even practice your dating skills. Every relationship, even a Lite one, teaches you something.
RL gives you permission to have exclusive sex (when mutually agreed) without the pressure of destination. Every woman will be different here— you may decide not to have sex without commitment, and that's fine. Or you may decide that, like the majority of men, sex is part of your decision-making process regarding commitment.
The great thing about RL is that you two make the rules about sex. It can be off the table during the first 90 days, or it can unfold naturally. You protect yourself and make the decision that’s right for you, no matter what the man tells you.
When a man says in the early stages of dating, "I'm not sure I want a serious relationship or marriage" you need to pay attention. That is not your cue to try to change his mind or show him what a great catch you are. Respect where he is in the moment, and realize that some men will say this as a buffer to protect their integrity because this will be used as an escape clause later.
With Relationship Lite, your mindset is one of abundance, fun, and adventure, and it gives you the freedom to date without pressuring yourself or the guy in the early stages of dating.
Doesn't that sound like someone just threw open the windows in a stuffy room and let in a burst of fresh spring air? Ahhhhh…
In the next blog, we'll talk about how to actually do RL and make it part of your life.
This article was originally published at Understand Men Now with Jonathon Aslay. Reprinted with permission from the author.