Kissing 101: Comfort, Compatibility & Communication

By

Dogs Kissing
What you should know before you lock lips.

That first kiss — oh, sometimes so magical! Other times it's completely evident that it will be the last. There are the passionate, let's-rip-each-other's-clothes-off type kisses, and then there are the perfunctory, seemingly meaningless pecks on the cheek. Some folks just want to bypass the kissing and get to the more physical activities. And, once they get there, kissing can serve to either enhance or interrupt. What's in a kiss for you?

When it's mutual, locking lips can be divine. I am a man who enjoys kissing, and kissing heightens my romantic experience. However, I've had partners for whom kissing just wasn't that important, leaving me to wonder whether I might be doing something wrong. Fortunately, I've been told enough times that I'm a good kisser, so I don't have too much concern. What I've found is that with kissing, like with many things, it's important to define wants, needs and desires as well as boundaries. What's in a kiss for you? Study: Men See Cuddling As Key To A Happy Relationship

I once dated a woman who tried to touch my heart with her tongue. While she was clearly passionate, I was suffocated by a tongue that had me on my heels. It wasn't pleasant. I mentioned my discomfort to her and she agreed to tone it down. Yet, a couple weeks later, when we had grown closer and she brought the same passion during an intense physical encounter, it worked magnificently. What's in a kiss for you?

I am not one that prefers an overly wet kiss, though, once again, there have been a few instances when passion takes over and things get a little sloppy. I think success in kissing is definitely about communication. I am usually very quick to let a partner know that I enjoy kissing, and that I enjoy kissing often. It's good to start slow to make sure that comfort is there. What I have discovered is that women want to feel safe, so a fast approach often doesn't work well. However, there are certainly women who bring an increased energy to making out, and an aware man can catch on and act accordingly. What's in a kiss for you? Way Too Many Married Couples Kiss Less Than Once A Week

How do we act when kissing seems inappropriate? For instance, like in a public place or in the presence of certain friends or even when an ex is in the midst. I've watched men and women use kissing as a way to secure their partner when competition is around. Is kissing right around children? There is an important element of responsibility with intimacy to consider. Too many times we watch young lovers oblivious to decorum and accountability for their actions is utterly absent. I know the excitement, passion and sometimes danger of intimacy in public can be quite a turn-on. What's in a kiss for you?

Next: Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Joe Palmer

Author

My life is committed to shining the light so that others can see their greatness.  Take a look at:  http://www.bullseyetheory.com to find out more about the services and products I offer.  Join my blog and get a regular update about Love, Relationships and Sexuality in addition to my expertise as a Business and Life Coach and my specialty in working with Program Development.  I can be reached at:  joe@bullseyetheory for a Free Consultation.

Location: Carlsbad, CA
Credentials: Non-Profit
Other Articles/News by Joe Palmer:

How To Use Resilience To Face Challenges

By ,

Do you ever have that sinking feeling that "It is happening to me again?" The following can support you in noticing how and when resilience reveals itself in you and your children's lives. When challenges and obstacles occur, we often admire those that seem to act with ease and do or say the right things. The reason for this admiration is that ... Read more

What A Woman Wants

By

Most men are confused about what a woman really wants; I know I am. We can assume that it’s the diamond ring or the nice house in the nice neighborhood or making sure the family’s needs are met or being a good father or completing the honey-do list, etc. These things (and so many more!) are, in my opinion, the basics of what a woman ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB