50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex

Will Your Wedding Cost You Your Marriage?


Marriage Educator: How Much Should Your Wedding Cost?
Are we quite sure the doves were necessary?
Are you getting married for the wedding... or having the wedding to be blissfully married?

According to CNN, many newlyweds suffer from reception-spending blues. The afterglow of a pile of cash washed down with champagne can be duller than you ever dreamed. Starting a marriage by either wishing you had the money you "wasted" or feeling bitter about the gifts you got seems counterintuitive, doesn't it? But it's not totally your fault. Society has raised us all on the Cinderella principle: girl meets prince, he kneels, then poof: the fairytale happy ever after begins. Most of those fairytales stopped at the celebration, yet a set of antiquated rules on how to tie the knot reinforces the belief that a wedding makes a marriage.

Now, if we're being fair, a wedding does make a marriage. The approach you take to getting hitched sets the tone for wedded bliss. But getting high on nuptial glitter may have you sleeping on a bed of thorns long past the honeymoon. Setting priorities for a love partnership that actually succeeds means paying more attention to your needs as a couple than the font on your wedding invitation. Here's the thing: the dinner menu is merely the icing on the cake (which is the actual union itself), so let's call for a little less tulle and a little more planning for happily ever after.

More from YourTango: Where is your Money Bar?

Sometimes, the pressure of following wedding must-do's can make you lose sight of why you're getting married in the first place. If wedding details are more compelling than your future partner's opinion, goals and dreams, perhaps you need to rethink this whole marriage thing.

What is it about your special day that makes you prisoner of the hunt for the "perfect" dress or hottest favors? Yes, it is a celebration, and perhaps the sheer joy of joining in holy matrimony makes you want to invite everyone to the castle for the party. However, you need to get clear on the purpose of your wedding before dropping a dime. Ask yourself if your wedding plans are for the two of you or for social requirements. What do you want more? a luxurious party or a steady start to your new life? Will you cave in to family pressure or follow your hearts?  

Also ask yourself how much time you want to spend on planning a wedding. Are you ready to devote a year of your life to creating a wedding of the century? What matters to you as a couple — a down payment on a new home or trip around the world... or an extravagant designer-infused gala with the best money can buy?

Make a choice and see it through. A good time does not (and should not!) have to mean going broke in the process. Prioritize and think of the party in terms of that famed travel rule: double the assumed cost of everything you want and then cut out half of the "must haves". Pace yourself so that you spend time, dollars, and focus on what really matters. Handling your money with love will help ease the path to a stronger, longer union with many reasons to celebrate again and again throughout the years.

If you or someone you know is overwhelmed from saying yes to everyone else and unsure what of matters ultimately, I am ready to help with expert advice and coaching. Get more tips by downloading my FREE e-book 3 Ways to say No without being Pushy or a Pushover. My goal is to help you create sanctuary and clarity around what you do want, as quickly as possible.

More from YourTango: Why I Am Discarding My Big Girl Panties

More marriage educator from YourTango:


Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jen Duchene


Jen Duchene

Sacred Design Expert & La Chic Soul Speak Translator

Ready to Discover The Deeper Meaning Of Your Life?

Book your 'La Chic Soul Speak' Session with Jen Duchene

Catalyst Clearings | Soul Readings | Sacred Numbers | Divine Designs

Direct Connect: 650.644.8592

Social Connect: La Chic Soul Speak on Facebook

AUTHOR OF: Le Chic Cocoon

WEB: JenDuchene.com

Location: San Mateo, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Jen Duchene:

Cheating Behavior: Does Where You Live Matter?


A Cheating Heatmap is a strange kind of bedfellow, monitoring the bones of baring it all. What ignites a desire to expose the law of averages when it comes to cheating? Does knowing where the 'unfaithful' gather give us a moral compass of who is who? Are we supposed to believe that getting bored with your partner is a sport only the rich can ... Read more

The Magic Beneath The Mirror: Why I Love Selfies


Celebrities have been involved in selfie worship long before us regular folk had the gear to snap our selves silly. Now everywhere I look it's in the news, a craze gone mad. A Guardian article on the shocking power of the sex selfie brings it all into focus. Nothing will stop us gawping at and gossiping about celebs, and I quote, "If today ... Read more

Where is your Money Bar?


Diving into life, knowing your voice and purpose, is more than just speaking, acting and reaching. Self Expression demands that we open up our modern Polite Woman, and create the boundaries that serve us. Taking leaps in life and work include myriad little bits, that are outside of what drives us. They must be taken care of, to create the foundation of an ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts

Hundreds of Matchmakers Descend on NYC to Spread The Love!

The 2014 Matchmakers and Date Coaches conference has arrived!

Make A Move

Dating Outside of Your Age Range: True Love, or Disaster?

I'm answering all of your questions about controversial dating age gaps.

deep breath

Why we strive for and are afraid of Perfection?

How desire for perfection keeps you limited and contracted in your life.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no timeā€¦

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>